this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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54
What would you do to help a terminally online person? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don't think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.

Im not judging. That life sounds great when youre young. But I dont want them to wake up at 35 and be even more depressed because they've never done anything in life.

It would be well and good if they were happy like this but they definitely aren't. Im just not sure how someone like that could even integrate into society. I give them advice here and there and sometimes talk about jobs with them, but they are also self proclaimed "lazy" and never really branch out to try new things. I try to send them links to code camps and stuff like that i think they'll enjoy, but they dont do it. I've offered to hang out with them when im their town (we've been friends for years and know each other very well so this isnt weird) but they cant drive either which makes ir hard.

I already know most replies wil be "ITS FINE TO HAVE A BORING LIFE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO "SAVE" THEM" but a boring life is different than a healthy life, imo.

Edit: i knew there'd be a lot of misinterpretation and people self reflecting on their own lives as a result of this post. Regardless, I am glad for the discussion. Thank you to those of you who had constructive comments instead of outright attacks.

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[โ€“] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I dont know the whole situation and it sounds like your trying. My closest parallel is, my friends that are kinda introverted.

I have one in my friend group, that thinks the perfect Friday night is air frying chicken and playing Command and Conquer.

Not that i hate that, but just like any good thing it gets tiresome.

So i sometimes spend time asking around for fun stuff to do on the cheap.

A week ago we drove roughly and hour to a OLD, OLD AS SHIT Drive in movie theater. It was $20 for 2 movies and for as many people as you could cram in a car.

It was honestly really fun, watching horror movies with my friends and just dicking around.

I was really introverted when i was younger and my friend is pretty introverted.

My best tip, is to invite somebody they enjoy hanging with something. Then offer them to join, and make it low stress and no schedule.

Thats how the best times with friends happen.

My friend really wasn't thrilled about going to the movies, but because another friend was going. They wanted to go

We dont go out a whole lot because well shits expensive. But every time they get less introverted, because its not "oh im going somewhere with people i dont like talking to people" its more of "i may not like other people that are gonna be there but my friends are gonna be there"

Heard mentality helps introverts

[โ€“] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

That sounds great!

We are both introverts really, I just learned how to get out of my comfort zone more often. I dont think they've ever done that