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What would you do to help a terminally online person? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don't think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.

Im not judging. That life sounds great when youre young. But I dont want them to wake up at 35 and be even more depressed because they've never done anything in life.

It would be well and good if they were happy like this but they definitely aren't. Im just not sure how someone like that could even integrate into society. I give them advice here and there and sometimes talk about jobs with them, but they are also self proclaimed "lazy" and never really branch out to try new things. I try to send them links to code camps and stuff like that i think they'll enjoy, but they dont do it. I've offered to hang out with them when im their town (we've been friends for years and know each other very well so this isnt weird) but they cant drive either which makes ir hard.

I already know most replies wil be "ITS FINE TO HAVE A BORING LIFE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO "SAVE" THEM" but a boring life is different than a healthy life, imo.

Edit: i knew there'd be a lot of misinterpretation and people self reflecting on their own lives as a result of this post. Regardless, I am glad for the discussion. Thank you to those of you who had constructive comments instead of outright attacks.

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[–] Qwel@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 week ago

Offering to hang out once in a while is nice. Without going into fancy considerations, it's nice

Do be careful when suggesting specific activities, it can feel like you're telling them what to be (and cause reactance). If you had parents doing it to you, you know the issue

I don't think the "judging" part matters. They are likely to be unhappy at some point in the future, and if you happen to be proposing something different at that time, they might be more interested. This doesn't need to be about judgement or respect, having a way into another life should always be desirable (as long as you're not being an asshole)

note that I am basing this on how I believe I would feel if I was them, and do not have any experience as your "role" here