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The biggest problem especially with Vietnam was we just shouldn’t have been there in the first place, we were fighting a war halfway across the globe for the abstract defense of “democracy”. If our goal was just the total extermination of the north Vietnamese we could have just nuked them into oblivion and if the other countries didn’t have nukes we very well might have. The tactics they used were different than ours and our actual end goal wasn’t even very clear but the way they “won” is we gave up. We didn’t lose any territory and while 58k lives lost isn’t nothing that’s from a country of over 200m compared to north Vietnam that lost 1.1m from a country of around 25m so 0.029% vs 4.4%
But even forgetting all that I would personally consider the U.S. military targeting the civilian population and hunting down “those antifa terrorists” like Israel is doing to hamas as a situation so horrible it should be avoided at all costs like we can pretend that our military would never do that, however we have many example from history showing the opposite to be true with Germany rounding up people who spoke out against the governement and putting them into extermination camps or slightly more recently pol pot in Cambodia