this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2025
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[–] nozone@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"We must stop zoo animals from attacking people" insists man who set all the zoo animals free and gave them each a bag of cocaine.

Wow that is based idea lets free the animals yes already thought that but giving them cocaine is a great add on they deserve to celebrate their liberation.

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh, you mean it was "to bear arms"? I've been arming bears the whole time!

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Lions and tigers and bears with automatic assault rifles! OH MY!