this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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The more I hear people talk about it who aren't cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I've only heard people say that it's stupid, that it's not a thing, that it's men's own fault etc. But I've yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don't want to start a discussion on whether or not it's real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

It's socially acceptable to hate and be biased against men. Especially white men, and especially working-class white men.

It's not so socially acceptable to hate on wealthy white men. The point is you have to become a wealthy white guy, or get bent.

You will also notice the discussion is frame that any man who isn't independently wealthy is a failure at life and undeserving of friendship/love. The advice is always 'get rich and get fit' as if that is the solution to your loneliness. It isn't.

FWIW I never had issue with romance/friends most of my life. But I have had them the past 5 or so years. I'm a middle-class white guy and my social interactions are falling apart. Esp when people find out I don't fit the archetype of 'rich white guy'. I've had so many people be friendly to me and then they find out I don't own a home/drive expensive car/etc and they immediately stop interacting with me, because all they want from me is money. I've also been accuse of various forms of bigotry more in the past few years when previously I never dealt with that ever in my life.

I think it's mostly just the ill-affects of social media and people's warped expectations. I know a lot of people living good lives... men and women both, but they always depressed and angry because they aren't millionaires. And frankly I find that attitude alienating and it also makes me want to isolate, since so much of what new people I meet talk about is their anger at not being wealthy. And if you ever question this or suggest maybe life isn't so bad? Well you're clearly a bigoted proto Nazi...

It wasn't like this 5-10 years ago. I feel like I got my first taste of 'men are awful' social media fueled BS in the 2010s. Now it feels like that's just he default belief of most people. It's really hard for me to find a lady romantic or unromantic, who just wants to constantly shit on men generally. And to find men who also don't shit on other men. And everyone where i live is in this weird scramble to distance themselves from whiteness and masculinity.

For me, I am feeling less and less lonely the more I am alone. Mostly because my perspective isn't the same as most people's. I am very happy and comfortable and appreciative and that doesn't vibe in a world full of very bitter people who think if you don't subscribe to theri flavor of bitterness, you're a traitor. I recently bailed on some of my volunteer/community orgs because they have been consumed by judgemental nasty people and they were making me depressed being around people who just want to be miserable and pissy all the time and blame white men for their own personal failings. My favorite is the gender-skeptical types working in low-wage jobs and being angry at 'white men' for preventing them from having stable jobs... but the truth is these people are totally unreliable and would be horrible at professional work. They are their own worst enemy.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 16 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

It's not so socially acceptable to hate on wealthy white men

....what

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 11 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (2 children)

here on lemmy it's super popular. but the average person admires wealthy people and if you shit on them or critiize them they will just accuse you of being jealous of their success.

most people want to be rich they see a CEO and they wish to be like that. They don't think it's bad.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 3 points 16 hours ago

Yeah i don't live on lemmy. And i'm not talking about lemmy.

[–] sunzu2@thebrainbin.org 2 points 21 hours ago

Bootlickers always there to support some random rich dude..

Its fucking wild.

Even women who hate normie men, will deff bite their tongues