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Man left with a broken arm because of the size of his penis (www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk)

submitted 20 hours ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] cjoll4@lemmy.world 143 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (4 children)

Matt said: “It was a very embarrassing accident. One of the issues with being so large, especially in hot water showers, is that it’s not exactly easy to see my feet.

“Especially when I move too fast, it can definitely mess with my balance, too. As I was rushing to get ready for work, I didn’t see the excess shower gel in the tub because my penis was the only thing in my eye line.

Right, because a fifteen-inch penis is totally going to obstruct your view of both feet and everything else below your waistline, and your dick is totally the reason you clumsily slipped. And you totally aren't looking for every possible excuse to turn any event of your life into another opportunity to brag about your massive, record-breaking schlong.

🙄

[–] Heikki2@lemmy.world 31 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

If mine was that big, I'd probably just stare it, too.

Also Tom Segura has a bit about seeing a guy with a large penis

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 12 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

While I appreciate the link, I am absolutely not having that in my watch history. I really don't want recommendations based on…whatever that is

[–] tedd_deireadh@lemmy.world 22 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Oh, c'mon! Where's your sense of adventure?

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 12 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

It died when my bones started to creak

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Mr. Glass?

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Feels like it sometimes, ngl

Old age is probably worse, but middle age sucks

[–] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

Yeah Tom Segura, yuck

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 13 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

He just likes to brag & isn't evolved enough to have a detachable penis.

[–] cjoll4@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

What a blast from the past!

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I don't even have to clock the link, and King Missile is now playing the hits in my head. 🤘🏼

edit: leaving it, as-is

[–] ImADifferentBird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

He does, however, have an enormous penis

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Anyone can acquire an enormous penis & just have it on display somewhere to soothe your day.

[–] tisktisk@piefed.social 10 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

It takes one to know one, and buddy...you're not that guy

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 hours ago

Thankfully, neither am I. 😅😶

[–] EvilEdgelord@sh.itjust.works 6 points 15 hours ago

That sounds suspiciously jealous 😏