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Yeah, I'm specifically looking for a thing that will give me lots of minis I can paint with my fiancee, who isnt interested in faceless military dudes or ugly monsters or mechs but is perfectly down with role-playing realistic war in her D&D campaigns. Something in the vein of Watership Down or the Warriors series would be perfect.
I don't play tabletop wargames, so I can't personally recommend it, but looking online, I see a lot of references to Burrows and Badgers.
https://www.beastsofwar.com/featured/review-charming-skirmish-game/
I'm not sure if that's what what you're thinking of wargame-wise, but it has miniatures, and is described as a "skirmish-style wargame". It's also called an "RPG-style wargame" on Wikipedia, though, so I'm not sure if it falls too close to the RPG camp for you.
I think Burrows and Badgers is exactly whay i am looking for.