this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
386 points (91.6% liked)

United States | News & Politics

3136 readers
989 users here now

Welcome to !usa@midwest.social, where you can share and converse about the different things happening all over/about the United States.

If you’re interested in participating, please subscribe.

Rules

Be respectful and civil. No racism/bigotry/hateful speech.

Post anything related to the United States.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] AGD4@lemmy.world 54 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Nobody wants to be in that shape, nor to be photographed and mocked online like this.

My heart goes out to those folks, and I sincerely hope they can find the help they need to turn around their unhealthy lifestyles.

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Speaking as a disgusting fat bastard myself, feel free to criticise and mock me as much as you want.

Maybe it'll finally motivate me to do something about it.

[–] misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

Right, that'll work.

You'll probably make more progress when you learn to accept and respect yourself. Losing a lot of weight is extraordinarily difficult and it'll take as long or longer than the amount of time it took to put it on. You'll have regressions and make mistakes. Your key will be neck breakingly slow but constant progress and being gentle on yourself, plus being surrounded by supportive people. I'm sorry you feel that you're disgusting but I don't.

My mom lost 70 pounds and then gained back 20 in the last 5 years. That's less than a pound per month, a 100 calorie deficit. She still eats a lot but I think that's what makes her successful. She has a long way to go but I never forget to tell her she's kicking ass because she is. You'd tell her that too. Now tell yourself.

[–] Taldan@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Everyone is different. For me, mockery was much more motivating. While it was not a good place, browsing r/FatPeopleHate was what got me to finally get in shape

Lost it a lot faster than it took to get it, for the record

[–] misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 hours ago

Well, sounds like you got the result you wanted for the wrong reason. But glad it worked out

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 10 hours ago

Self hate is approximately as good a motivator as ridicule, ie a negative one.

Depression or whatever the damage is isn't solved with more trauma.

To start climbing out of your hole your first step is forgiving yourself for not being perfect.

[–] Asswardbackaddict@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Also, they don't need to justify shit and nobody wants your pity. Whether you criticize or pity them, you're disrespecting their autonomy, and your values don't align with the reality in front of you. That's a you problem.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Lol no. There's a point of derision. You can't act like something this absurd is a functional reality in their head. At some point we have to say "stop it" and that point was way before it got to using handcarts for diabetes juice.

Edit: and that's before considering that their poor choices lead to higher insurance rates for people with self control.

[–] morbidcactus@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Telling an obese person to "stop it" is like telling a depressed person to stop being depressed, it totally ignores the underlying reasons.

I've struggled weight wise my entire life, been up and down 50 kilos over a decade, since actually getting an ADHD diagnosis and therapy it's trending downwards to where I want it to be.

I strongly believe from my own experiences (and others I know) there's a strong addiction component to obesity, would you describe smokers as having poor self control? There's a massive mental health (and genetic for that matter) component to obesity that's frankly overlooked, often can be a trauma response, maladaptive coping mechanism or as I said, addiction.

Have you ever talked to an obese person? My weight is/was a huge source of my self negativity, not a single person I know actually likes being obese, don't want to be that way, that cycle of self loathing is a spiral and it's really hard to break that, especially when society sees fit to attribute the entire condition to some sort of moral failing that makes it even harder for people to want to ask for help, let alone receive it.

I'm lucky, I've always been pretty active so judicious food logging + exercise works for me (and has in the past), others not so much. GLP-1 Agonists are an absolute godsend for people who really struggle from what I've been told (my ADHD meds kill appetite too, totally won't discount their contribution) they totally kill any food noise, actually helps keep them satiated, and importantly, kills their food stress response. Literally life changing, enabling them to actually get to a place where they can sustain it.

All of this is just the mental health components, there's other barriers in some places, food deserts are absolutely a thing and lack of walkable neighbourhoods does not help either.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I agree that there is a mental health component there. I have ADHD as well and used to smoke. But I never flung it in the face of society by smoking 3 cigarettes at once in public as a "fuck you". There's a limit to that excuse. I know how ADHD works and it doesn't discount some amount of shame. This? This is shameful. ADHD people aren't completely unaware, I know it's hard, but it's also not a complete excuse to be this obtuse.

[–] AstaKask@lemmy.cafe 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

These are severely ill people who will die prematurely even if they get the help that they need. Do you walk up to cancer patients and go: "oh you are so beautiful just the way you are, never change"?

[–] Asswardbackaddict@lemmy.world -2 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

Nope. Just told my uncle the other day that we both know his weight will kill him. Then, I respected his autonomy. See, you can criticize those close to you without shaming strangers and projecting your insecurities onto them. If they want to eat themselves to death, that's their fucking business.

[–] AstaKask@lemmy.cafe 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

That's the thing though. We do care for suicidal people in this society. We should care even if they're killing themselves slowly. It's not a choice they're making. It's literally mental illness.

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 2 points 17 hours ago

As a suicidal person, no we fucking don't care about suicidal people in this society.

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 day ago

My heart goes out for them too since their own is probably about to stop