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At my home venue, I have no protection. If you fuck with me---particularly within the first twoish songs of a set---my usual response is to look them dead in the eye and say, "Where do you work? I'm going to come to your job and help you on Monday." And that usually scares them off.
Sometimes, I feel bad about it and will find and apologize to that person later, explaining why I reacted like that.
My favorite is when it's a local/college-age band and parents are around. Or spouses of older band members. "No, I can't get her vocal any louder because she's whispering six inches from the microphone and Jimi Hendrix up there is blasting his amp at 11."
All this said, it's a common misconception that "asshole" is the default mode of operation for a sound engineer. It's just that the job is fucking stressful, and if you catch us at the height of that stress, we will react poorly. I've definitely come across a few grumps, but most folks are nice on average
kinda have to be so that people will want to work with you. Most of us just want to work with the team to make a good show happen.
To your original point, it's 100% true that the better the artist, the better/easier the mix. Can only polish a turd so much before it crumbles.
There’s a reason the lead singer’s girlfriend is the butt of so many jokes. And I have 100% had to use the Baffle of Shame for guitarists who won’t turn down. It’s just a doghouse made out of pink foam board and tape, that you can throw over the top of problem amps. Add a corner notch for cables to run in/out, and dust it in some black paint.
If it’s a tube amp, I can at least understand it; Tubes distort at higher volumes, and the distortion is part of the tone. And if you try to argue with a guitarist about their tone, you’ll lose every time. The nice once will smile and nod, then not make any changes when you ask them to turn down. The rude ones will make direct eye contact as they turn it up more.
But if it’s a solid state amp, putting a 2x4 block under it (or putting it on a spare guitar stand) to tip it towards their head usually works. The guitarist is used to having all of the sound blow right past their knees, so actually aiming it at their head makes a world of difference.