this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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Mine varies from like 4 to -5, with random flucturations into -7 to -8. I'd say it averages out at like -1.

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[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 points 21 hours ago

I'd say average about -5. Verbal, physical, and emotional abuse was the norm. My mom was fine, but due to the age gap she was functionally more like a big sister. My dad must've been going for the high score on the Dark Triad.

School was a fun one; I was regularly held out of school to the point I was nearly kept back multiple times for truancy alone, at one point my grandmother had to threaten to call CPS because I wasn't even enrolled in school at all. Every day I'd have so many chores that homework was impossible, and that lack of structure kicked my ass in college. Bit of a mindfuck to constantly be told that school is for stupid conformists, and still get punished for bad grades. It's a good thing I've got a great memory and phenomenal test-taking skills, or I never would have passed a single class.

Socialization was fun too. Between frequent moves and the pile of chores on my list, I didn't have the opportunity to make many friends. Tried to get into Boy Scouts and sports to get some kind of social life, but those were for stupid conformists too. Combine that isolation with my dad's attempts to turn me into his shadow, I grew up real weird and isolated. People think I'm sociable now, but that required years of focused work. And I'm still pretty weird.

Character and values, ho boy. I wasn't exaggerating with "Dark Triad high score". He literally tried to become a Latin American island dictator, it was a lifelong project for him. I was taught the values of doing anything you can get away with, exploiting rules, lying all the time to get what you want, emotional manipulation, and countless other Machiavellian, narcissistic, psychopathic behaviors. Fortunately, my grandparents were much more moral and ethical, so it was a bit easier to deprogram myself on that front.

I won't even get into all the other little things, but I think anyone from an abusive household can tell you that all the little things can often have a more serious long term effect than the big ones. Daily whoopings suck, but they go away when you move out. Not so much a lifetime of being trained to treat every conversation like a competition.

On the bright side, I'm very resilient now. I joke to people that i never get stressed because my brain doesn't produce the stress chemical, but really I just coped with so much stress growing up that none of the minor daily stresses register at all.

So yeah, others have definitely had it worse, -5 feels about right.