semisimian

If peeing your pants is cool, then I'm Miles Davis.

And I just don't give Adam.

Before Jenny, there was Pennsylvania 6-5000. From wiki:

"Many big band musicians played in Hotel Pennsylvania's Cafe Rouge in New York City, including the Glenn Miller Orchestra. The hotel's telephone number, Pennsylvania 6-5000, inspired the Glenn Miller 1940 Top 5 Billboard hit of the same name."

And similarly, Transylvania 6-5000, which is where I first heard it.

Is this the same accent the indie musicians sing in, where they do weird things with their vowels to sound like they ate a lemon recently?

I've noticed a staccato cadence to some speech that people might say is indicative of autism, but not an accent.

ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!

DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

That's the secret, and it's how they keep it hush hush: they don't take dollars, only shoes. Shoes for the wealthy is like Tide pods for the incarcerated: underground currency. It's more difficult to hide a shoe in your prison-pocket, but I think the wealthy have people for that.

We just got a set for my son for his birthday. He likes the routine. We have a drip coffee procedure for us parents and I think he likes having his own thing. That said, he was disappointed in the set. The whisk doesn't work as well as the electric one we have for frothing milk. The cups aren't exactly his cup of tea, all puns intended. Etc.

I think it was important that he got the set so he could learn what he likes and doesn't like about the process. Lord knows we've gone through a dozen coffee gimmicks over the years trying to find the best brew. That is our experience. Good luck and have fun; it really is about the simple pleasures.

From monticello.org

When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.

This statement has not been found in Thomas Jefferson's writings, although it captures some of the ideas that Jefferson expressed in the Declaration of Independence, e.g. "...when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government..."

• Anna Berkes, 4/11/13

First attribution of the above quote was 2006. I like the "tyranny" substitution.

Ho ho ho, future Santa checking in. Mrs Claus is a hair stylist, so we have some insight into what I'm going to need when the days grow short and the beard (hopefully) grows long.

The biggest thing is: full beards take time. And not just time to grow the length, but time (years) for your face to mature and get those hair follicles in the Christmas spirit. There's really not much you can do if the fullness isn't coming in yet but wait. I'm in this phase now. It's hormones. What are we going to do? Not drugs, not Rogaine: not going to help. Take care of what you got.

But you mentioned you DO have a beard, so maybe you have the stellar volume you need to be St Nick, just not the length. Short answer, skin care IS beard care. Get a good skin care regimen that works for your face and your beard will fall in line. You've signed up for an everyday commitment to becoming a touchable beard, and they WILL ALL touch it. Toddlers to Grannies, especially, Grannies.

You have the beard! Now you need the color. This depends on your hair color and how your hair accepts color, so you really should go to a professional. If you want to be a paid, real-beard Santa, a good color job will be the LEAST of your expenses and it will pay off on day one.

Being a good Santa is being a good person. It really is just that. But there is a physical barrier that is conforming to the Coca-Cola ideal of Santa, which is the tutorial I just provided for the BEARD ONLY!

I wish you well and I hope you enjoy bringing hope, magic and love into the hearts of children.

I just started a TNG rewatch last night after finishing DS9. Worf looks so weird.

Well, that's one area you definitely don't want dandelions growing.

"Wow, three whole openings!"