I agree with you, words have power, but only the power we give them.
By adopting this growing strategy of using gay coded innuendo as a weapon - we are telling the maga crowd that we respect it as a weapon, we are validating that we think it has power.
What you mistake for "oh the soft weak left has a no-no list that holds us back" was us not reacting and thus not giving power to using gay innuendo as a weapon, so that lgbt peoples existence isn't thought of as a weapon.
We were quite close too - I Haven't heard much anti gay rhetoric used as insults by the right, no where neat as much as 10 20 30 years ago. The right had realized that that stuff had lost effectiveness and thus switched to different insults.
But here with these stupid memes and signs that I see more and more often are re-weaponizing anti-gay discourse and I hate it and it definitely will lead to a lower quality of life for lgbt people, it will definitely keep more lgbt people in the closet, and all the knock on effects of that including suicide.
Words have power, and we give them power by using them. Think about what you are giving power to.
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