this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2025
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[–] dhork@lemmy.world 11 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

It's not a departure from its traditional focus on bribery

[–] fatalicus@lemmy.world 8 points 9 hours ago

People seems to forget that football is the secondary focus of the head of FIFA. Corruption is the name of the game for him.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 3 points 7 hours ago

Well, it's diversifying into asslicking.

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 11 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

lol wow, just leaning further into the whole “FIFA is run by absolute fucking psychos” narrative I guess…

[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago

More sociopathic, I think. They know what they want and know how to manipulate others to get it.

[–] plz1@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago

TIL FIFA gives out "participation trophies".

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 7 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

One of the most corrupt businesses giving an award to the most corrupt president, seems on brand and correct for this timeline.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

I'm just happy that we finally have world peace

[–] Bwaz@lemmy.world 7 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Maybe they can name me as math genius of the year, too? It would be just about as meaningful.

[–] comrade_twisty@feddit.org 3 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Honored guests, distinguished academics, and champions of knowledge, This evening marks a defining moment in the history of intellectual achievement. The FIFA Math Genius Award stands as one of the highest honors our community can bestow — a recognition reserved for those whose intellect not only grasps the laws of logic but elevates them to an art form. In that noble tradition, we gather to celebrate Bwaz whose accomplishment has re‑defined precision itself. Through dedication, persistence, and sheer cognitive brilliance, Bwaz has successfully solved the equation 2 + 2 = 4 — and done so correctly in more than half of his attempts. What might seem simple to the untrained mind reveals, under closer scrutiny, the hallmark of genius: a mastery of fundamentals so pure that it borders on perfection. Every correct computation represents not just a number, but a triumph of disciplined reasoning and mental clarity. In an age when truth can be obscured by complexity, this achievement reminds us of the beauty of certainty — of how a single true answer can illuminate the very essence of understanding. The committee, therefore, recognizes our laureate Bwaz not only as a mathematician, but as a visionary. His work stands as proof that even the simplest truths can demand the highest intellect to honor them properly. It is with great pride and profound respect that we present the FIFA Math Genius Award to a mind whose excellence will forever inspire future generations of thinkers and dreamers alike. Thank you.

[–] massacre@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

I wonder what the 'alpha' MAGA crew think about Trump's participation trophy.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 1 points 24 minutes ago

They gave me an award for having a 2 foot dong that is about 8 inches wide. I wear it everywhere I go; it's completely legit.

[–] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 7 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

Ah yes the highly coveted FIFA Peace Prize

[–] III@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

How fucking stupid does a guy have to be to view this as anything other than an embarrassing gift.

Hey Trump, here's your "you didn't actually win a Nobel peace prize" reminder. We made it gold so you can put it on your shelf of gaudy schlock and always be reminded you are an imbecile.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

It has to be lobbying of some sort. Has to be.

[–] Sv443@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Now that you say that I'm kinda on FIFA's side, that's hilarious

[–] III@lemmy.world 2 points 53 minutes ago

The only defense I could give to FIFA here is that likely someone there took into account whether the orange idiot would take it this way, only to quickly dismiss it given the mounds of evidence that he wouldn't see beyond the moment of flattery. Doesn't not make them garbage as well - rather just collectively capable of some awareness. Unlike Trump...

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 1 points 26 minutes ago

Even the dipshits on Faux could not really keep a straight face over this. The supposed "comedian" guy (Greg Gutfeld) on that talk show tried to keep up the fauxfic over this, but the other talking heads seemingly all admitted it was a trophy with only one candidate in the running: Taco.

🤣

[–] NateNate60@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Not to be confused with the discredited and obscure Nobel Peace Prize awarded by some randos in Norway who nobody cares about

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 5 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

This is worse than a participation trophy it’s a buthurt trophy

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 2 points 29 minutes ago

LOL, butthurt trophy, I'm stealing that.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

today's not The Onion article

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 3 points 29 minutes ago

Corrupt AF game recognizes corrupt AF game.

[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Just when I thought it wouldn't be possible to view FIFA any more negatively than I already do, I see this headline. Only way it gets worse from here is if they find a way for Nestle to participate in this circlejerk.

[–] mister_flibble@sh.itjust.works 2 points 22 hours ago

Hey look, a participation trophy

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Bet you Trump threatened to cancel the World Cup hosting in the US unless they gave him something. It's essentially impossible to reschedule an event that large this close to the start.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

At this point, I'm amazed he hasn't simply had Obama's award confiscated

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Or claimed it was signed with an autopen, or the wrong colored ink.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 1 points 21 minutes ago

They put Obama's name in ALL CAPS, and it was done under a flag with fringe on it!

We have to revoke it right now!

[–] tal@lemmy.today 1 points 23 hours ago

I see that it's gold in color. He's rather partial to that.

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

The passive aggressiveness of that title is 👨‍🍳 👌

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago

Honestly had to check if this was The Onion.

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago

lol, nice participation trophy

who's gonna get next year's edition of the whiner's cup? Bibi?

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Who could have seen this coming when they announced the award last month?

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 1 points 13 minutes ago

Even the Faux morons had to admit it...he plays some of them around the 4 min mark...

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=6lnOFD5XrFk

[–] PKscope@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Between this and his name being on the Institute of Peace... We've completely abandoned reality for this pedo's ego. I'm genuinely ashamed to be an American at this point. I never knew I could feel this way about my country. I've never even given a shit about my identity within and towards my country prior to Trump, but he has truly made me ashamed of my citizenship.

Furthermore, I'm ashamed of the people I cohabit the Earth with. I just couldn't fathom this world even 10 years ago. Maybe I was naive, but maybe the world's gone crazy.

[–] BeardedBlaze@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I immigrated to this country, joined its military, and gained citizenship, thinking I'm the luckiest guy alive.
I'm absolutely heart broken and ashamed as well...

[–] PKscope@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Thanks for dedicating yourself to the betterment of this place. I'm sorry it's ran by complete morons with no respect for the foundations it was built upon.

[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago

FIFA being scumbags? No way!

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Suckin' that micro dick.

Honestly, I don't even really blame the companies that do this kind of shit. They know that Trump is a simple, easily bought "man" that likes shiny gold things, and that giving him one benefits them. Like Tim Apple giving him the gold plaque. And in the big picture it's a lot less embarrassing than having your name be Tim Apple for the rest of your life because a felon rapist said so.

I'm not exaggerating when I say I honestly don't remember what his real name is. It's just Tim Apple now.

"How did you get your name?"

"A rapist gave it to me."

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 1 points 14 hours ago

There is no way SouthPark doesn't use this, it's almost too perfect.

[–] CosmoNova@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

FIFA and Trump are a match made in hell. Who would‘ve guessed? Oh right. Everyone did.

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

FIFA officially now stands for Fawning Incompetent Feckless Assholes.

[–] NateNate60@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago

Hey, that's not true. The acronym is French, so it actually stands for Fédération Incompétente et Faible d'Ânes.