Step one in the PR-playbook: blame it on previous management
this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2025
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Step two: Change nothing.
Step 3 - find another child patsy
Step 4 - Profit.
No question mark necessary this time.
They didn't die; just temporarily disfigured and permanently traumatized.
Violet totally died.
No one cares about Violet.
For some reason wonkas voice sounds like rick Sanchez in my head here
They didn't die though?
Mike Teevee might have some fatal complications after the Taffy puller.
Not to mention Violet going to the blueberry press
“Aw jeez”
Yeah, gotta love those 'someone had to take the blame' situations.