I thought that was just being an introvert. Being around people is draining. Solo time is recharge time.
this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2025
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Seconding "it's an introvert thing".
It's very tough being an introvert living with extroverts.
On the other hand, introverts spending time together is a bunch of solo tasks in the same room, and wonderful
The company of an introvert is a sublime thing, to be among others but not have any demands made of us.
The company of an extrovert is a grand thing, to another extrovert.
I wonder if it is masking? You have to spend so much effort masking for other people it is draining. But there are some people you don't feel to need to mask for so being with them can be relaxing.
Not in my case, I think. I just don't like people who can't stand silence and need my attention to feel like they exist.
My wife and I have a friend that’s an introvert like we are. Sometimes he’ll come over and we might play a bunch of Mario Party and Mario Kart, but other times we will all play separately on our handhelds or laptops and chill while something plays on YouTube. Sublime. Don’t need to constantly have a conversation going and there’s no drinking involved.
Yup. You can have ADHD and be an introvert. You can enjoy socializing and be an introvert. You can be loud and be an introvert. Being an introvert simply means that socializing takes energy. It says nothing about how you socialize, or what you do when you socialize. After too much socializing, you’ll feel burnt out and need some alone time to recharge.
I'm pretty confident it can be a lot of other reasons too. Stressful triggers, bad mental/emotional states as a result of PTSD, BPD, general anxiety, depression, over-work, etc. with all kinds of time period patterns that aren't necessarily as general and consistent as via an introverted personality.
I find using the concept of a social battery helps dealing with, especially when communicating with other people, as well as knowing your boundaries.
I saw some clip that suggested introverts burn some chemical as they socialize, and after about 140 min it's depleted and they feel an aggressive need to recharge.
I asked my wife and she was SURE there was merit to this, just based how how I perform in groups -- I'm apparently charming as shit but the mask slips almost exactly on that schedule and I get a little too 'me' after that.
Consider the timing and see if you spot the trend. Also, the clips that talk about that basically say "hit the loo and get some isolation for 10 min and you're good for another hour" which may be a good recovery/marathon trick.
May be more of an AuDHD spectrum thing rather than pure adhd...
Socializing requires executive focus. I have to listen and think about what the person is doing, then figure out how to respond, which needs active thought as I'm (probably) on spectrum. It interrupts my normal brain flow. That gets tiring very quickly when it is already a lot of mental work to maintain task focus while alone.
Now that you explain it, that makes a lot of sense.
In written form I can consume the info and place it into context.
Listening actively, I am managing not just storing and responding, but also engagement, expressions, tone, volume, tangential thoughts (me too), and external information.
I can relate. I'm definitely an introvert. Definitely ADHD, and possibly mildly autistic.
Do with that information what you will.
Although, when I'm together with people I'm comfortable with (old friends that I have no hesitations about really being myself) I don't feel socially drained. I'm usually the one trying to get them to stay longer than we had planned.
That's called being an introvert
Not sure if ADHD specific or a symptom of being "on the spectrum" or a bit of both (have never been diagnosed either way but show all the signs), but I have a very low capacity "social battery" and am very sensitive to noise. The end result is I crave (relative) solitude and quiet or else I'm useless at getting anything done.
You may have ADHD. But this is much more indicative of being an introvert. :) welcome to the club! We meet in passing for a few minutes every other month. Or until one of us has had enough. Then we hibernate in dark corners until our social battery recharges.