Damn, maybe consider a reusable cup?
this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2025
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Thus guy is having a 12-coffee day, how is your day going?
Or caffeine pills
At 14 cups, he starts phasing out of our reality at the quantum level
He’s about to enter Hyper-Hyper-Time
After his 13th cup he will get a meeting invite from his manager and HR to share some news with him. Prioritize your health and your family folks. No one gives a shit how hard you worked, you are just another worker bee making some filthy rich fucks richer
In 20 years the only people who will remember you worked late will be your kids.
Your job posting will be up before your obituary.
I like that the amount of pleasure he provided them with dropped sharply after his death. The opposite would have been troubling..
That's nice. My HR recommends improving health by doing yoga at home and making a better personal spending plan.
Not a raise though. Just figure out how to spend less.
Work hard enough to not get fired
but not so hard that it affects your health or your life
That's fine as long as your job is paying you enough to survive/thrive. Not easy to do if you're hourly with low wage and allowed overtime or if you're dependent on a promotion.
that's like 6 peepee trips minimum
It’s not the peepee that gets you, it’s the loosey-deucey that follows.
Just know the recommend intake of caffeine is sub 400mg a day.
I have tripled that on a drive home from my corner Starbucks before. Fun fact: the servers might be “legally required” to warn you of your poor health choices before they hand you your drink.
There was a dangerous point in my bartending career...
I worked at a fancy restaurant, and they bought a super fancy (like $35k) automatic espresso machine, that ground the beans to order and everything, with a touch screen.
I accidentally discovered that, if I got a little grease on my finger before telling it to make me a double shot, after it poured one, it would think my finger was still on the button, and immediately start pouring another.
So I would make a pint of espresso each evening for espresso martini, and then a quart for myself.
Pro tip: if that's also your reaction every time you see a coworker looking tired, saying so might not be a boon to your continued employment 🤔
Equating "looking tired" with "has had 12 coffees and a soda that also has caffeine in it" is wild.
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You sure they're all from the same day?
The fact that some of the cups are different makes me think that is unlikely.
Brain: It is what it is.
Heart: But not for long.
And a regular Coke to take the edge off, I guess?
The regular Coke is for a bit of sugar for nutrition
The irregular coke is to take the edge off
Heart problems incoming
Coffee increased heartrate, like exercise, but does not open up arteries, unlike exercise, so when you drink a lot of coffee it's like making your heart pound against a wall for hours.
Make sure you get up and do regular stretching.
Pee breaks for that
Their poor body...
Damn😂 Most I’ve gone for is 3 cups
I used to abuse caffiene / coffee to an extreme. I had an espresso machine at home, and another in my office, and there were MANY days where was drinking more than 32 oz of espresso in a day. Most of my gastrointestinal issues can be directly attributed to this behavior. I don't suggest this to anyone.
That being said, I still can enjoy cold brew, and my morning ritual is a big tumbler with 1 cup cold brew , 1 cup water, 1 cup oat milk, and ice. That gets me through most days. I also do break it up where i switch to tea for extended periods.
This guy poops
Do you work for Cloudflare by chance?
Just fine here. I'm more interested if they had a panic attack and left work early yet.
- Your keyboard is gorgeous
- I wish I had your coffee budget
- Ensure you're getting hydration otherwise too, right?
My caffeine was reduced 90% recently. If you wonder whether you can be more effective or sleep better on vastly reduced caffeine, I'm here to tell you that NO, there is no upside.
This is how you get spitters in left for dead
Dear god my heart hurts looking at this.
I bet it reeks of undiagnosed ADHD in there.
Must be Frank Drebin Jr
Surely you can't be serious
Looks exactly like whatever random anonymous “hoteling” office I might occupy on a given day. Corporate America sucks.
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I would be awake for two weeks straight from that
Do you not have a coffee machine in your office? Not even considering the money, I'd be annoyed having to repeatedly run out to the café 😅
That cafe run is a break from whatever misery requires so much caffeine.
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