Programmer Humor

Terminally online, even for #2

Day 3,801 of thanking God I was born a Luddite

Anyone who thought their toilet would be improved by having an internet connection deserves this

Maybe it needs a connection cause it takes a picture of your feces and sends it to an AI analysis service. If anomalies are detected, it tells you that you should take the stool sample to a laboratory for further study, then lets you flush. Poof, smart toilet. I could see people with too much money buying this.

Edit: Thought about it some more.. why stop at feces images? Why not also have a high resolution camera pointed at your anus taking crowning shots and analyzing those. Tell users if anythings wrong. The future is ~~bright~~ brown boys. The future is brown.

Edit2: You could even have motion based security.. alert if anyone broke in through your bathroom. Cameras in toilets people! What could go wrong?

Edit3: Hear me out. User controlled bidet mode + anus camera. Take out your phone and clean your ass in first person. Score points if you clean your whole ass and compete on an online scoreboard. Tech sure is amazing.

"oNe dAy wE wiLL aLL livE iN a sMaRt hOmE. tEcHnOLoGy aLwAyS iMpRoVeS"

"Dumb" is the new "smart".

And yet I hear dumbshits bragging all time about how alexa controls my (insert thing that definitely does not need automation here).

These sort of people never think beyond tomorrow and it shows.

What's "Skynet" mode, lol?

they can always ask chatgpt how to fix the problem

Home assistant everything is a yaml away

The only thing smart I want is a faucet that activates with button OR the knee / foot sensor, and gives water always with a precise programmed temperature and flow.

That and a temperature and timer controlled frying pan.

Well an incinerating toilet that just dries burns my shit using a 340W solar panel would be cool too.