The best jokes have to be told twice, the first time, and then HR wants to hear it as well...
this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2025
363 points (98.4% liked)
memes
17964 readers
4164 users here now
Community rules
1. Be civil
No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour
2. No politics
This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world
3. No recent reposts
Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month
4. No bots
No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins
5. No Spam/Ads/AI Slop
No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live. We also consider AI slop to be spam in this community and is subject to removal.
A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Sister communities
- !tenforward@lemmy.world : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
- !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
- !linuxmemes@lemmy.world : Linux themed memes
- !comicstrips@lemmy.world : for those who love comic stories.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I think everyone who tells jokes needs to understand that. It will get back to them. I don't care if your friends at the bar think it's funny, Tammy in HR will be the one deciding if it's funny or not.
Spoiler: Tammy in HR will not find it funny
I was fired recently. My manager put a Friday meeting on for 30 minutes, right after a big project went wrong. I pinged him and asked him for an agenda in pure panic, and he didn't respond, instead saying in our team channel that it was review time and that no one should panic, everyone is getting meetings for reviews
Phew I thought, yeah I fucked up, I'll get probably a lower review but I'll prove myself after that and work back from it.
Nope.
He was late joining, HR was there and thought for a second it must be because of the reviews, something special. Then the fucker fired me. Asshole. He fucked up the meeting, sent me on a wave of emotions that week, and then still fired me.
I caused a 2 hour prod outage btw. That was the fuckup. I had only been there 5 months, told them I didn't feel comfortable doing it alone, they told me to work through the weekend to do it and I did, worked a 16 hour day to make it all stable and happy. They made me give a postmortem and all of my colleagues said it was a rite of passage and that it was no big deal, just to learn from it. Then he fired me.
Doesn't sound like a good work environment anyway. That sucks, man.
Thank you. I heard from ex coworkers that he felt like the outage made him look bad in front of his new boss, so firing me was a political move for him. He then had to have several meetings with people saying that "(scrubbles) didn't get fired for one outage", which everyone knew was bullshit. Apparently morale plummeted. So there's a silver lining. He torpedoed all trust he had with his team.
Sounds like you're better off as far away from that as possible
Last place I worked went through I think 5 mass firings in two years (kinda lost count). By the end of it any time a last minute meeting was on the books our lead would send out emails telling us not to worry and give a brief overview of what it was about. That was a stressful couple of years x.x
give a brief overview of what it was about
So exactly what a meeting invite should be?
Sad that it took that kind of scenario to figure that out.
At least there was some structure. During mass layoffs at my last job all meetings were canceled. Everyone had to sit in their work pens until their manager came and got them for their individual layoff/HR meeting. After years of that every few months I gave up hoping it would eventually be me so I could get out of there. Ultimately had to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and quit. Good riddens.
Last minute meeting is scheduled: Panik
Manager normally sends out emails to let us know what they're for: Kalm
Manager didn't send an overview this time: Panik
At that point, you might as well just collect all your stuff and head for the door.
Cool, let me just pocket everything I can real quick, be right in
Companies who have checklist to make sure they get "all" of the company property back are awesome. It's always made by HR with no clue what the job entails. I returned all of the company property listed items on the checklist.
My last workplace was ruthless. No meeting got put on your calendar. HR and a senior manager just waited until your Teams status went green and direct called you from a group, then fired you right then and there.
Last layoff - real human beings- "Do you have time to drive to the office for a meeting? We are so sorry, business isn't going well an we are having to cut whole departments. You are laid off the end of the week plus severence. Return the truck laptop, phone etc then. We'll transfer the phone number to you, the supplier contracts etc that you brought in, we will sign off to you as well."
Layoff before slimy corporate shills (all laid off a year later) teams meeting labeled as business discussion". Surprise, HR is on the call. You are not allowed to drive the company vehicle. At the end of this call IT will cut off the laptop phone and we'll arrange for for someone to go to you house and collect company property.
So I drove the truck for 4 hours to collect all the stuff from my 3 offices. Then grabbed a guy from the last stop to drive the truck back after I finished cleaning it out at home. While I was driving I called up the new job I was supposed to start 2 months later and said, "Hey you guys OK will me starting next month instead?" I then took a nice 3 week vacation. Getting severance from a job I was going to quit, chef's kiss .
Could be worse. What about going to your car to drive you and your friends to a party, and then it being missing?
Long weekend!! 👍