Now that’s a headline that isn’t clickbait, it fucking click kidnapped me
this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
338 points (95.9% liked)
News
32974 readers
5458 users here now
Welcome to the News community!
Rules:
1. Be civil
Attack the argument, not the person. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Good faith argumentation only. This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban. Do not respond to rule-breaking content; report it and move on.
2. All posts should contain a source (url) that is as reliable and unbiased as possible and must only contain one link.
Obvious right or left wing sources will be removed at the mods discretion. Supporting links can be added in comments or posted seperately but not to the post body.
3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.
Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.
4. Post titles should be the same as the article used as source.
Posts which titles don’t match the source won’t be removed, but the autoMod will notify you, and if your title misrepresents the original article, the post will be deleted. If the site changed their headline, the bot might still contact you, just ignore it, we won’t delete your post.
5. Only recent news is allowed.
Posts must be news from the most recent 30 days.
6. All posts must be news articles.
No opinion pieces, Listicles, editorials or celebrity gossip is allowed. All posts will be judged on a case-by-case basis.
7. No duplicate posts.
If a source you used was already posted by someone else, the autoMod will leave a message. Please remove your post if the autoMod is correct. If the post that matches your post is very old, we refer you to rule 5.
8. Misinformation is prohibited.
Misinformation / propaganda is strictly prohibited. Any comment or post containing or linking to misinformation will be removed. If you feel that your post has been removed in error, credible sources must be provided.
9. No link shorteners.
The auto mod will contact you if a link shortener is detected, please delete your post if they are right.
10. Don't copy entire article in your post body
For copyright reasons, you are not allowed to copy an entire article into your post body. This is an instance wide rule, that is strictly enforced in this community.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Damn. I’m taking stock of everything we’ve lost in the headline:
- no reference to “slammed,” “burned,” or other intense attack words
- accurate summary of the situation
- nothing overstated
- no key details left out
- isn’t a listicle
- nothing inviting the reader to see more by promising the rest of the headline in the article, none of that saved-you-a-click shit
My god, this might actually be good honest journalism!
They forgot hepatitis
It was in the article. Emphasis on was since the entire article has been changed since I posted
load more comments
(1 replies)
They changed to article. Edited out all references to diseases.
So crappy journalism.
Edit Apparently a lo of people have mentioned this here. I simply didn't read far enough.
load more comments
(1 replies)
“diseased monkeys pan careless driver”
According to authorities, the Rhesus monkeys were on their way to a testing facility in Florida
"Florida Man's Outbreak Monkeys on the Rampage in Mississippi"
If you go back and re-read the article, you'll find it's been edited, and now has no mention of any diseases and says the monkeys weren't infectious. So I think it was clickbait, after all.
That’s how they get ya
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
The university says that if the monkeys leave the wreck site, they must be shot.
The only counter to a troop of aggressive monkeys carrying diseases dangerous to humans is a bunch of Mississippians running around with firearms who have been waiting for this very moment all their lives.
a troop of aggressive monkeys carrying diseases dangerous to humans
a bunch of Mississippians running around with firearms who have been waiting for this very moment
itsthesamepicture.jpg
Oh I remember watching Outbreak, great movie.
I'm now imagining RFK, Jr. managing a major national health disaster.
RFK: I vow to hunt down and eat that monkey.
Has the article been edited since being posted here? Because it doesn't mention any of those diseases, and actually says the monkeys weren't infectious.
Yup. When I read the article a few hours ago, it was a lot scarier than it is now.
Everybody makes occasional mistakes, but the journalistic norm is to append a correction, which isn't here. Something like, "An earlier version of this story incorrectly reported that the escaped monkeys would kill you and your family. WLBT regrets the error."
It’s probably because it’s all AI generated bullshit. There is no real journalism anymore.
Yes it's kinda crazy they completely changed the article and there's no indication that they changed it
Clickbait and switch.
I’d make a joke about the coming zombie apocalypse but I’ve given up hope of ever not going to work tomorrow.
Your employer would give you a day off for zombie apocalypse? Most of us would have to take a sick day and bring a doctor's note.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Sounds like the first scene of Steven Seagal's next movie...
Fairly certain this was a film, based on a Robin Cook book….might have been Outbreak.
A truck hauling white MAGA overturned?
Oh the horror. The shame of it.
load more comments
(1 replies)
According to the article, the lab is sending someone to pick them up. I feel like the problem with having a shipment of herpes monkeys and COVID-19 monkeys breaking open is that in short order, you're probably going to have a shipment of monkeys who all have both COVID-19 and herpes, which probably isn't what the lab wanted.
They also have hepatitis C
Ah, well that's what the lab wanted. All good.
Didn't this happen during COVID too...?
Someone call Dustin Hoffman!
The headline sounds like the B-movie spoof of this one.. "These monkeys have herpes AND COVID... and they're fucking pissed"
Also the CDC doesn't have the budget that movie has. Today's CDC would be lucky to be given a $10 Walmart grabber stick to catch the monkey with.
I'd be aggressive too, if people kept giving me horrible diseases then testing medicine with unknown side effects, while also keeping me locked up without any affection.
Also, imagine the loose one infecting other wildlife.
Well some good news and some bad news.
Good news out of North American wildlife none should be susceptible to these diseases.
Bad news just all the humans on the continent are
Neither good nor bad, wayyy more humans in Mississippi already have these diseases. 40 monkeys is nothing. Unless they were experimenting with something weird
They were not infected with anything, and they posed no threat to humans. That was all just something claimed by an inbred hick sheriff, who was looking for an excuse to use his military equipment to kill monkeys.
The source the sheriff's office used is the truck driver.
The university said they do have some monkeys that are infectious, but none were on this semi trailer.
Sheriff's office didn't think maybe they should corroborate the truck driver's story before telling the news there was aggressive infectious monkeys running around.
“That driver there? That’s ol’ Hank. We told ‘em them monkeys had 5G COVID on the account of so he won’t try to have his way with one of ‘em. This is Mississippi after all…”
Low-key curious how said monkey is the driver's sister.
I would definitely bet the driver didn't say anything like that and the cops just called in whatever they thought they needed to say to get to shoot monkeys.
I didn't expect the 28 days series to be what turned out to be a documentary but I'm also not surprised
This sounds like a sketch from South Park.
Sounds like a job for Jimbo
It was coming right for me!
If I were sick, and you packed me into a truck and headed for Florida, I'd be aggressive, too.
I hear that they prefer to be called MAGA, not monkeys.
view more: next ›