Can't have any fucking fun anymore, what's next, I'm not allowed to shove croissants up my anus?
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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You're not my real dad, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
Thanks to the new administration the Fierce Agents of Rectum Tenderisation (formerly Ass Secret Service), an untrained elite force of volunteers, can now inspect the depths of your rectum without a warrant or notice.
They try to be a pain in your ass to keep the country safe!
You sure can't plug them away!
(Not to be confused with Butt Patrol Agents)
What if I already did hypothetically what would I do if I had already done that hypothetically can someone help me hypothetically?
cylinder.
lol that’s what I thought of too when I wrote that.
IT IS MY RIGHT!
You have a right and a left butthole?
🫦
How about don't put anything in your anus unless it was specifically designed to go there
Where's the fun in that?
designed by who? some god? a scientist? the hillfolk committee for ethics and morality to buttholes and butthole alternatives?
What about lumpia? Asking for a friend
those are to work your way up to spring rolls which are to work your way up to egg rolls, according to my kinky laotian friend
There go my weekend plans
Well obviously not frozen. And also not straight out of the fryer. But left to cool down, after cooking. Why not?
What, do you think I'm going to put that in my MOUTH???!!
eventually yeah. that's called general tzo's dickin
Just .... just don't double dip
What if I cook them in the air fryer instead of in oil and let them cool down first? When I talked to my doctor, he seemed to indicate it was a good compromise as long as I stick with organic ingredients.
Too fucking late Doc, I’m farting essence of fried cabbage and cat meat until Thanksgiving’s giving.
Welp, there go my weekend plans
Shit it was at the entrance! Glad I was scrolling Lemmy with Elvis Can’t Help Falling in Love, playing in the background.