this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2025
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politics

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[–] xyzzy@lemmy.today 120 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Shall we conclude that Pete turned down Tucker's advances

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 27 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Tucker was simply fake hitting on Pete to test if Pete was truly gay or not, obviously.

[–] monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Tucker: Pete wouldn’t let me stuck his dick. Definitely not gay.

Tucker truly is a penetrative journalist.

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[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 92 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Tucker thinks about gay sex more than most gay men.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 days ago

just imagine his bowtie spinning whenever he gets 'flustered'.

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[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 79 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wait. This isn't the Onion?

[–] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

wow, Pete's turn getting his skull measured came sooner than I thought. I thought they'd get rid of the racial minorities first

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 48 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Tucker, you need to learn to move on when your love interest won't go out with you.

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

TELL ME ABOUT GAY SEX DAMN IT! DESCRIBE IT TO ME IN VIVID DETAIL! LEAVE NOTHING OUT!

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My aunt is transphobic and explained the surgeries to me in vivid detail. She was trying to convince me it was somehow wrong because it was disgusting and I was just like "why do you know all this?". She claims to be so disgusted by it but went out of her way to research it.

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 11 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Show her a video of a knee replacement surgery.

You man a transition from broken knee to working? Disgusting! A wheelchair is what dog intended, as foretold in the Bible!

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[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

THERE WAS CANDLES AND SMOOTH JAZZ

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[–] wuffah@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I’ve met seemingly normal people who think Tucker Carlson is a real political commentator with good ideas.

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Maybe they have him confused with Chris Tucker. I can see the resemblance.

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ridiculous broadcaster. It matches.

[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Tucker Carlson makes Ruby Rhod look like Walter Cronkite.

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[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago

After he literally argued in court that no reasonable person would believe anything he says is true.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

lmao

He added that if he ever interviews Buttigieg, “I’m gonna ask him very specific questions about gay sex and see if he can even answer. I doubt he even knows. You’re not gay, dude. Stop.”

Wait, is tucker in the epstein files?

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 25 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Tucker’s a little curious.

[–] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 28 points 3 days ago
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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I hope Pete calls Tucker’s bluff because I am extremely curious what specific knowledge the latter has about gay sex that the former can confirm.

[–] neon_nova@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 days ago

Haha, I was wondering what he would even ask.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 21 points 3 days ago

"I'd need like ... specific details. Maybe even use my name in place of your partner... You'd have to draw some pictures too, or better yet take photos. Lots of photos."

[–] fittedsyllabi@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago

Tucker’s wants sex with Buttigieg, adorable.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 3 days ago

Tucker, secretly gay, needs some advice on gay sex. Smart move fucker! No one sees through your cover.

[–] Kirp123@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Is Tucker Carlson gatekeeping gayness?

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[–] fiendishplan@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Tucker Carlson is a little bitch.

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[–] Bonje@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Bro just wants to take notes.

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[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 14 points 3 days ago

Hey Tucker, you're a fake straight until you give me intimate details about your sexual life :3

That segment would be really, really popular given how puritanical and misogynistic their core audience is. Lots of fan boys re-watching that segment in the dark after the wife goes to bed.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 14 points 3 days ago

So Carlson thinks he needs to take Pete for a test drive to verify his bona fides?

I doubt if Buttigieg would have an interest in such an ordeal.

[–] stickly@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Oh yeah? Well if you're so gay then why can't I suck your girthy dick?

-- Tucker "The Sucker (Throat Goat)" Carlson

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

So based upon the principles of them always projecting, I guess this means Tucker Carlson is fake straight.

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 13 points 3 days ago

Tucker will of course be able to make these judgements from, uh, experiences he’s… had relayed to him from some of his friends, the good gays you know. Not those nasty gays, which are most of them. And it’ll be all good because he’ll proclaim no homo, which proves that he is straight

carlson's kgb handler: "become relevant again or internet show is cancelled, da?" (sweaty carlson proceeds to further debase himself for clicks)

[–] BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

"Where is it? How can I have some?"

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Tucker: "So, say you and I were in bed, what, SPECIFICALLY, would you do... SPECIFICALLY. I mean leave nothing out."

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Please, Daddy Carlson, show us what you know about doing a gay sex on someone.

[–] ghostsinthephotograph@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Questions that only Tucker Carlson would know.

[–] Bridger@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago

Tucker Carlson is a lizard person wearing a human skin. He should allow himself to be flayed on live TV to prove otherwise.

The only thing Tucker Carlson deserves is an inescapable pit of sewage to starve to death in.

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

You know I think Tucker would know what dick taste like better then Pete.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is that because Tucker would know?

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[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Sounds like Tucker wants some new gooning material.

[–] neon_nova@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
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