this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Triton420@mander.xyz 198 points 4 days ago (6 children)

They’re even better if you only count white men

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 30 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Those numbers can go down even further if you exclude everyone who isn’t a millionaire.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Nope. I think once you exclude women, the maternal death rates will hit their minimum.

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Soup@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

As if they’d be counted appropriately.

True. They'd not give them any recognition.

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 3 points 4 days ago

Yeah, now we’re talking.

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[–] errer@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

NaN gang represent

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[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 102 points 4 days ago (3 children)

There's some truth to his statement as far as the numbers go and perhaps some correction is needed. Obviously, you wouldn't want to entirely remove the stats of African American women, as that would be blatantly racist, but it seems some for of compromise is warranted.

Perhaps counting only half of them? or perhaps slightly more than half, say 6/10ths

[–] massacre@lemmy.world 57 points 4 days ago

NGL, you had me going in the first half

[–] FrogmanL@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago

We're not 52nd in the nation in education for nothing!

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Perhaps counting only half of them? or perhaps slightly more than half, say 6/10ths

Very strong scientific and historical basis for going with 3/5ths. But if some stats make America look bad, I think 0/3rds would fix it, and fire the agency lead if they don't go with 0/5ths of a person for black women. America was great when it was 3/5ths, and so 0/5ths is needed immediately to make America great again before my 3rd term election.

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 83 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

Ah, I have a modest proposal. Let's count 60% of maternal deaths from black women. /s

[–] lectricleopard@lemmy.world 27 points 4 days ago

A government can't possibly serve the whole population. /s

[–] AreaKode@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 32 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

I might be wrong, Frank, but my reading of the text says that freed slaves fall under “the whole Number of free Persons” and thus count as 1, not three fifths.

The three fifths compromise just said slave states shouldn’t get to count slave population to get more representatives. The non-slave states wanted them not to count at all, since they don’t get representation regardless. It’s wild to me that we think of the “three fifths of all other persons” thing as the bad part, rather than the “rich assholes who owned people got more representation than those who didn’t own people because the people they owned counted toward their representative allotments.” After all, the slave owners wanted slaves to count as a full person. The problem, as always, was slavery.

[–] SacralPlexus@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don’t think it’s that “three fifths” is the only bad part per se, it just gets referenced a lot because it is a really indefensible example of how enslaved people were considered less than a person. So much so that here it is codified as a fraction of a person. Very in your face sort of language.

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 3 points 4 days ago

I think although very vivid language it is quite defensible for the reasons Kuni mentioned: in the only context where slaves were actually defined as 3/5 of a person, all they could do was allow their masters to extract extra value through representation from them, as they did not get representation for being counted towards House representation.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 3 points 4 days ago

I read this in Dennis’s voice

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago

We'll call it the...60% Compromise. Got a nice ring to it.

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[–] rainwall@piefed.social 67 points 4 days ago (8 children)

Dudes a piece of shit still, but the article is 3 years old.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago

I’m sure those rates are way better now. Because of all the beautiful winning.

[–] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

We wouldn't want people to forget what a racist Sen Bill Cassidy is.

I hope this article makes the rounds again next year, right around the time he is up for reelection.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 45 points 4 days ago

"Our maternal death rates are only bad because of inherent racism in our medical industry"

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 33 points 4 days ago

As expected racist pieces of shit.

[–] pixelkitty@lemmy.world 30 points 4 days ago

Damn there really isn't even a quiet part anymore is there

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago

On my fuck....Dude seriously...you said admitted your racist ass racist bias, what a monster.

[–] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality"

🤦

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

so close...

[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 22 points 4 days ago

May 20, 2022

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] underline960@sh.itjust.works 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

He continued: "Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality."

Maybe you should look into that, Senator.

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 7 points 4 days ago

Oh, it's probably just genetic, just like how black and Hispanic men are uniquely genetically qualified to labor in the fields ... /S

[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

And our mass shooting events are pretty low when you don't count bigoted white men.

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

So you're going to do something to lower the maternal death rate for black women, right?

/padme.jpg

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 13 points 4 days ago

Funniest headline The Onion could have ever come up with!!!!

Maybe the medicaid cuts will make the black women count rise faster than the white women count, and that will make it ok :(

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

This is from 3 years ago.

[–] ThisGuyThat@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (7 children)

In an interview with Politico, the following words came out of Cassidy’s mouth: “About a third of our population is African American; African Americans have a higher incidence of maternal mortality. So, if you correct our population for race, we’re not as much of an outlier as it’d otherwise appear. Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality.”

Scum POS. I'm sure he will start fixing the issue instead contributing to it.

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[–] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Tenthrow@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] DeathsEmbrace@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

A Louisiana Senator saying something racist? Not News worthy.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Y’all need to appreciate that Louisiana’s batshit MAGAs finally ran the table and it’s something like a mix of Florida and Mississippi but with a lot more heat and pollution.

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