this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Triton420@mander.xyz 195 points 1 day ago (6 children)

They’re even better if you only count white men

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Those numbers can go down even further if you exclude everyone who isn’t a millionaire.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Nope. I think once you exclude women, the maternal death rates will hit their minimum.

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Soup@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As if they’d be counted appropriately.

True. They'd not give them any recognition.

Yeah, now we’re talking.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] errer@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

NaN gang represent

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[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 98 points 1 day ago (3 children)

There's some truth to his statement as far as the numbers go and perhaps some correction is needed. Obviously, you wouldn't want to entirely remove the stats of African American women, as that would be blatantly racist, but it seems some for of compromise is warranted.

Perhaps counting only half of them? or perhaps slightly more than half, say 6/10ths

[–] massacre@lemmy.world 54 points 1 day ago

NGL, you had me going in the first half

[–] FrogmanL@lemmy.world 22 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 11 points 23 hours ago

We're not 52nd in the nation in education for nothing!

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 6 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Perhaps counting only half of them? or perhaps slightly more than half, say 6/10ths

Very strong scientific and historical basis for going with 3/5ths. But if some stats make America look bad, I think 0/3rds would fix it, and fire the agency lead if they don't go with 0/5ths of a person for black women. America was great when it was 3/5ths, and so 0/5ths is needed immediately to make America great again before my 3rd term election.

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 82 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Ah, I have a modest proposal. Let's count 60% of maternal deaths from black women. /s

[–] lectricleopard@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago

A government can't possibly serve the whole population. /s

[–] AreaKode@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 32 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

I might be wrong, Frank, but my reading of the text says that freed slaves fall under “the whole Number of free Persons” and thus count as 1, not three fifths.

The three fifths compromise just said slave states shouldn’t get to count slave population to get more representatives. The non-slave states wanted them not to count at all, since they don’t get representation regardless. It’s wild to me that we think of the “three fifths of all other persons” thing as the bad part, rather than the “rich assholes who owned people got more representation than those who didn’t own people because the people they owned counted toward their representative allotments.” After all, the slave owners wanted slaves to count as a full person. The problem, as always, was slavery.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 3 points 1 day ago

I read this in Dennis’s voice

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[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago

We'll call it the...60% Compromise. Got a nice ring to it.

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[–] rainwall@piefed.social 67 points 1 day ago (8 children)

Dudes a piece of shit still, but the article is 3 years old.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

I’m sure those rates are way better now. Because of all the beautiful winning.

[–] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

We wouldn't want people to forget what a racist Sen Bill Cassidy is.

I hope this article makes the rounds again next year, right around the time he is up for reelection.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 44 points 1 day ago

"Our maternal death rates are only bad because of inherent racism in our medical industry"

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 33 points 1 day ago

As expected racist pieces of shit.

[–] pixelkitty@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago

Damn there really isn't even a quiet part anymore is there

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago

On my fuck....Dude seriously...you said admitted your racist ass racist bias, what a monster.

[–] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 25 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

"For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality"

🤦

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 21 hours ago

so close...

[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 day ago

May 20, 2022

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] underline960@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He continued: "Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality."

Maybe you should look into that, Senator.

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 7 points 1 day ago

Oh, it's probably just genetic, just like how black and Hispanic men are uniquely genetically qualified to labor in the fields ... /S

[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

And our mass shooting events are pretty low when you don't count bigoted white men.

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 13 points 22 hours ago

Funniest headline The Onion could have ever come up with!!!!

Maybe the medicaid cuts will make the black women count rise faster than the white women count, and that will make it ok :(

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

So you're going to do something to lower the maternal death rate for black women, right?

/padme.jpg

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 12 points 19 hours ago

This is from 3 years ago.

[–] ThisGuyThat@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

In an interview with Politico, the following words came out of Cassidy’s mouth: “About a third of our population is African American; African Americans have a higher incidence of maternal mortality. So, if you correct our population for race, we’re not as much of an outlier as it’d otherwise appear. Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality.”

Scum POS. I'm sure he will start fixing the issue instead contributing to it.

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[–] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

hey, donkeys are noble creatures that bond with their human and can even emotionally reciprocate.

this thing is a husk of a human being stuffed with fascist fecal matter.

[–] Tenthrow@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago
[–] DeathsEmbrace@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

A Louisiana Senator saying something racist? Not News worthy.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Y’all need to appreciate that Louisiana’s batshit MAGAs finally ran the table and it’s something like a mix of Florida and Mississippi but with a lot more heat and pollution.

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