Assault with a deli weapon 🥰
this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2025
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The grand jury that would not indict a ham sandwich.
Grand Jury must have been vegan.
Does a hotdog still count under this? In England they throw milkshakes... In America you get the hoagie
🎶There goes my hero, watch him as he throws!🎶
A hero is a type of sandwich too, so it kinda works on a couple different levels.
Just don't throw the hotdog flavored water. That's akin to a chainsaw.
There should be a Gofundme to uy this guy sandwiches for life.
Sub shops should just give him free sandwiches for life.
"The state's case hinged on the definition of 'weapon' with regard to the sandwich. Since the sandwich was from the well known chain 'Subway' the state was arguing no reasonable human being would consider it food for human consumption, and as such, it should be classified as a weapon. In a close decision it was rule that the sandwich was indeed 'food' and not a weapon. So justice prevailed today protecting the defendant from further charges, but humanity is still burdened with Subway being legal to sell as food." /s
I wonder what type it was?
Home Run Ham? Cold Cut Club? The Boss? Hotshot Italiano?
Although, I really hope it was The Outlaw.
Leave it to the US to deify the guy, yet do absolutely nothing to follow his example.
This is a pretty pessimistic take. We are seeing increases in “folk heroes” to increasing repression and violence from the state. That’s a positive trend. The whole world is lurching toward the right. Stop shitting on other people for not doing something and do something yourself. Or encourage others and spread ideas. Start a strike in your town, start a buy nothing movement. Do anything but shit on an entire group of people for “failing” your apparent standards. It doesn’t help—if helping move the world in the right direction is even something you actually care about.
That's why we deify them - they represent the ultimate goal: finding someone else to do the dirty work fixing the problems for us while we keep feeling safe and morally superior in our pacificity.
We have jury nullifications (this guy isn't the only one to have a grand jury refuse to indict amid the Trump administration's occupation of DC) happening before the case even gets to go to trial. It's not enough (anything short of removal of the whole administration and their enablers isn't enough) but it's a step in a good direction.
The "US" is not a person.
Thanks for the insight
Safer to meme than dispense lead.
Safer to meme than dispense ~~lead~~bread.
Bro I've been foot-longing people nonstop. The media just won't pick it up.