I’m surprised they didn’t use immigrants as the unit.
this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2025
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Everyone who’s dealt with kids knows you have to bisect the giraffe equally from nose to tail so everyone gets 2 legs, or somebody will cry that it’s unfair.
Everyone who deals with scientists knows they assume a perfectly spherical, frictionless, giraffe.
In a vacuum
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Kids are total commies.
Make sure to get the same number of spots too.
I let one cut and the other gets to pick first.
This is the way. And from experience, it will result in sub-nanometer size differences.
The way Samson would do it.
I think you mean Solomon.
Oh aye, Samson was strength, Solomon had the wisdom required to dissect a baby. Samson would just rip it apart with his bare hands.
Edit maybe that should be bisect. We need less words, there would be much less misunderstanding.
I think Samson made my luggage.
Strength and dexterous fine motor function.
He didn’t personally build it.
This is great! I feel I'm reading a drunk Brit who has some familiarity with the Bible, just a little.
Oi! They're both cunts!
Laterally.
This is why real scientists use the only reasonable real world measurement - a perfectly spherical cow in a vacuum.
Hmm. Thought they used bananas.
Maybe in a shop vac.
The anatomical answer is sagitally down the midline.
You divide the giraffe vertically down the center 🤦♂️
Dear gods
How far will these Americans go to not use the metric system... ffs
Sadly they’re not American. Containment has been breached.
Your bigotry has blinded you so much you couldn’t even see the two biggest, boldest words in the picture.
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I love it when I can understand your memes!
Ask questions when you do not. :)
Oh I wouldn’t begin to know what to even ask. I’m a music major lol. But if I think of something, I’ll pipe up.
Start with where you are, others will be there too. :)
Thanks! I’ll do that.
obviously the scientists meant a spherical giraffe in a vacuum
One standard volume giraffe of course, i.e. the volume in m³ an average giraffe would fill (at room temperature and sea level), when passed through a blender. And then half of that
The scientists had to go through many more proportionate animals before discovering that half a giraffe was a near perfect match for the size of the asteroid.
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How much is it in bananas?
Even if you think height divided by two, why even describe it that way? Giraffes are tall, but not so unfathomably tall that something half its size is incomprehensible. That’s 7-9ish feet. You couldn’t say the size of Andre the Giant?
The Youth Today don't know who that is. Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is? We may never know.
Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is?
Just today, I learned a handy way of visualizing the size of a giraffe. If you took that asteroid that struck off the coast of Iceland, and made a copy of it and put the two of them together, that's about the size of a giraffe.
If that doesn't get you some Nobel prize, I don't know what will.
Sorry, I need that in dishwashers or ping pong balls
I think you just need to translate everything to bananas then go in from there
People usually measure asteroids by mass (but then, those people are already abnormal, so who knows?), if so, it's something around the size of a cow.
Or maybe they could use metric...
Alex Horn wrote it.
Sorry, I don’t get the reference and the Wikipedia page didn’t help!
In his show Taskmaster he is well known for both writing tasks and making jokes through intentionally obtuse language and uncommon phrasing. Frequently the "obvious" interpretation of a task turns out to be non-obvious, or the answer to a riddle is this kind of nondeterministic situation that trips up the contestants and makes for better funny.
Which is to say, the author of the headline is a troll, and did it internationally to bait this very kind of conversation. You won't know which way they sliced the giraffe unless you read the entire thing! Of course, after you do, you still won't know.
Ah, no wonder the Wikipedia page didn’t help… the top result when I searched was for a cult leader named Alex Horn. Thanks for the explanation!
They meant Alex Horne
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