Signal
this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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Yeah, for chat I've tried a few systems but honestly I already had signal, they understand that signal chats aren't texting, the privacy is important to me, and most of all... why rock the boat?
It's not self-hosted yeah yeah but not everything needs to be. Password management, todo lists, calendar and contacts, grocery lists... sure yeah. But nothing for chat really struck me. And I don't want to teach everyone how it works just to test a 'maybe' alternative.
Family is happy with Matrix (Synapse) and Element as clients. Have members with iOS and Android, smooth experience for all users. But, to be fair, I do have easy users: they basically just send texts, emojis and an occasional picture.
I did not like the admin side of things too much so far, but I recently migrated to a Docker setup, which seems easier to maintain.
Matrix is a well-known self-hosted messenger. I use it for years now.
Matrix. I could do without the DIscord-like space/rooms bullshit, but I've learned to ignore it. At least we're not on Skype anymore. Adding users is a commandline thing, but that happens seldom enough that it's not a big deal, though that means I have to find the documentation every time. I've worked in some of the bridges for people that aren't on Matrix directly and that seems to do the job.
You could just create a Ansible playbook to do it
Matrix, with the Element app on phones.
i spun up a snikket instance, with a domain and caddy, all that jazz.
the chat is really just about perfect.
we use the conversations xmpp app, and the only issue is that our phones don't really see that app as a respectable calling app. the phones let other sounds play over the call, like GPS voices, or if a regular call comes in while we're on a call, it hijacks the audio system until we decline or answer.
Otherwise it's been pretty sweet!
@a @selfhosted @selfhostedchat Prosody (xmpp). The kids use Dino on their linux laptops, and Conversations on their android phones. The biggest problem we have is that the kids want to invite non-family members into the family chat, and I'm just not set up for that.
@Andres4NY @selfhosted @selfhostedchat any ios client recommendation?
Snikket seems to be the "best" XMPP client for iOS. It's worked well for me, and I found from a recommendation by my XMPP host.
Nextcloud chat, Matrix or Simplex Chat
What are their complaints about Mattermost? That might help.
@breakingcups @selfhosted honestly? That is not WhatsApp so I’m trying to find some way to appeal to them
If selfhosting the family chat is not a goal in itself and it's about privacy or being independent from big tech, just take the loss and go to Signal. Much smoother experience than any self-hosted messenger can provide for now.
Many governments want to decrypt chats. You better learn how to selfhost.
Tried and cannot prise them from facebook messenger....