this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 226 points 3 days ago (1 children)

wife in a healthy relationship, looking at her sweatpantsed husband: heavy breathing Oh my!

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 150 points 3 days ago (2 children)

never underestimate the desire of some women for married man. I had a friend once tell me shw only dated married man because she knew he was good enough. No need to say the friendship didn't last long

[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 144 points 3 days ago (4 children)

This is a real phenomenon. Men are more attractive when they're already in a relationship.

There are similar psychological effects that exist elsewhere. A job applicant is more attractive if they currently have a job. A scholarship application is more attractive if you list your existing scholarships. The effect is basically: someone else found you desirable, and therefore I must also.

The effect is so strong that it encourages people to fake it to gain the benefits.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 69 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You're also more confident when you're not looking for anything tbh

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 15 points 3 days ago

That's especially great with salary negotiations. When you've already got a stable job there is nothing to lose from aiming high.

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[–] LilB0kChoy@piefed.social 43 points 3 days ago

I must be ugly as sin. My wife and I have been married almost five years and I have yet to be in a situation where a woman is pursuing me and I can shout, “I don’t know you! You’re not my wife!” and run away.

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[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 32 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Also the reason for the rock star phenomenon.

A girl sees a guy with a girlfriend. Girl's monkeybrain says "she thinks he's a good bet, so he's already been vetted, and he's probably a good bet."

Now a girl sees a guy at a party with two girls flirting with him. Now two other girls think he's a good bet. He must be a good bet.

Now scale up. One guy is on stage playing the guitar. 3000 women are screaming that they love him. Our girl's monkeybrain: "literally thousands of other girls are debasing themselves to be with him - he is the most desireable guy in the world. Quick, scream, get his attention! He's your perfect soul mate, just make him notice you!"

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[–] xkbx@startrek.website 43 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It’s like when children grab the toys of others. They don’t want to ~~play~~ ~~with~~ keep the toy, the fact of the toy being possessed is what makes the toy desirable. The grass is always married on the other side of the fence.

Edit: choice of wordS

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 107 points 3 days ago (11 children)

In a sense of understanding the wife's perspective, proximity is just as important as the other major factors that affect how likely a relationship is to begin. There was a cool study of college students who lived in an apartment style building that showed you were most likely to begin a relationship with the person who had a door immediately next to yours. The only exception to that was for the person who had a door immediately next to the mailboxes. Proximity matters because it lets another person see you enough to form opinions based on a lot of interactions, and we all know someone who 'shines' despite their physical looks.

Plot twist: new neighbor was wearing a shirt that read, "I <3 dad bods," and was already flirting (asking for help moving boxes /eyeroll) with the guy in sweatpants.

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 78 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Really sad that so many people are closed-minded about relationships with mailboxes.

[–] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 39 points 3 days ago

You wouldn't believe how many people go postal once they see my tramp stamp.

[–] WagnasT@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago

Yeah, some people think there should only be relationships between mailboxes and femailboxes.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago

"Oh, what the fuck?! There's jizz on my mail again!"

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[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 103 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Me: "I'll do my best but you know how hard it is to resist this." Gestures at dad bod

Wife: "Oh, I'm well aware."

Me: 😘

Wife: 😏... 🍆👉👌

[–] Darth_Lemmy@lemmy.zip 24 points 3 days ago
[–] UnhingedFridge@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

This man wifes

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[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 55 points 3 days ago

Well, at least the wife thinks highly of you.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 55 points 3 days ago (1 children)

MY DUMB LUCK: does it anyway somehow

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 48 points 3 days ago (1 children)

ALSO MY DUMB LUCK: wife is into it

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 52 points 3 days ago (44 children)

fat

Not a deal breaker. The dad bod is in. I suspect other dad qualities are also in. Like sweatpants and socks with sandals.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Do the dad qualities of already having a wife and children help? Lol

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 2 days ago

Doesn't get more dad like than being a dad!

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[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

!socks with sandals!<

Whoa! A little warning before dropping something that hot in here!

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[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 days ago (18 children)

About 16% in men have a fat fetish compared to <1% of women. Also about 36% of women prefer a partner heavier than them. Also, 97% want a man who’s taller than them while about 2 % of women want a man smaller than them.

Of all the people currently alive, about 7% are women aged 25-35. of those 1% like fat men, of those 2% want the man to be smaller. So you have 0.0014% of any given population who is female 25-35 and likes small fat men. About half of them are single, you you have 0.0007% of any population who will find you attractive.

In a city of 400,000 people that’s 3

[–] deathbysnusnu@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So you're saying there's a chance.

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[–] buttnugget@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Where are you getting these numbers?

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[–] ChairmanMeow@programming.dev 19 points 2 days ago

This does assume that these are independent variables, which may not necessarily be the case.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 17 points 2 days ago

Don't do this, don't give me hope

[–] LyD@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Lemmy is finally in its incelposting phase! Not good!

[–] SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I don't get the reason for posting all these magic numbers with no source, especially since it is about preference of something that is considered a "taboo" and many will refuse to properly state them, under a completely unrelevant post. So even if there is a source for these, both if the poll is in person or online, they are very unreliable.

Not to deny the minority that are people that highly prefer a fat person/partner, especially since I am both one and prefer one. I am not here to conquer every single person that sees me even if I was the complete opposite and be jacked, because that is simply unrealistic.

I am myself, with my personality and a body I feel comfortable in.

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[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago (3 children)

We usually say to each other....don't bring home nasty STDs. Even though we both know....way to busy to fuck someone else.

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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 23 points 2 days ago

That's what I'd be telling my fiancee as a joke because I know she's a chubby chaser (in her own words).

[–] scoobford@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

My brother in Christ, you do not realize how down bad the 20-something girls with daddy issues are.

My best friend hooked an old guy without custody of his kids. They're moving in together next week.

Edit: My point is that people like her exist and have their own preferences. Unfortunately the vast majority of men she goes out with are creeps. I'm going to support my friend, but I'm also doing a very in depth background check as soon as I learn his last name. The overwhelming majority of men interested in much younger women are creeps.

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No guarantees. I know what I'm working with here, babe.

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