This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
You can also trigger a fairly bizarre cutscene where your character takes a shower with one of the female characters but she keeps all her clothes on, if you cultivate a certain level of unrepentant stink.
https://www.gameslearningsociety.org/how-do-you-trigger-a-quiet-shower-scene/
Holy crap the more I learn about MGS V the more I learn that I really need to actually put some time into it. I got it for free with my first GPU (a GTX970 a couple of months after the 3.5Gb scandal got big) and it was my first steam game. I'd never played any games of the genre (or related genres) or scope before (I'd grown up playing tons of Sid Meier and Maxis titles on disc) so the whole thing was kinda a culture shock for me
Ah yes because Quiet wears a lot of clothes in the first place.
What stats go down? Afaik the only thing being dirty really does other than cover you in blood is make you smell, which can give away your position to enemies. But just getting dirty doesn't make you smell, you have to crawl through something smelly and your stench will be indicated by flies buzzing around you (and Ocelot telling you that you stink). The only way I've ever been stinky is by hiding in a dumpster for a bit.
I haven’t played metal gear but in Skyrim stealth is a stat and it seems like this makes it go down
The Dragonborn: farts
The 3 Guards who phased in through the walls: "STOP, CRIMINAL SCUM!"
Venom Snake: eats ration with beans
Venom Snake later on:
fart button unlocked
QTE to hold fart in while moving unlocked
Fuck, I'd totally fail that QTE right behind a guard on purpose
Nobody breaks wind on my watch!
"Must've been the wind."
Sssssshhh! Don't tell the non-showering depressed shut-ins that!
Kojima games have always been full of mechanics and characters that are pretty obviously direct jabs at his own player base.
Hrm, after MGS, what does my NA playerbase look like?
Oh, a bunch of skinny, white, emo nerds with massive insecurity about basically everything in their lives?
Perfect, that's the new main character, and he gets a shonen character arc.
... MGS4 legitimately got me to get a portable cigarette butt container, and then also helped me to quit smoking.
What is a "portable cigarette butt container"?
Its an airtight container that you can fit in a semi-large pocket, which works as an ashtray, and you put cigarette butts in it.
In Japan, littering is extremely frowned upon, there are basically no public ashtrays, it is pretty common for smokers to stash their butts in these containers and then empty them out later.
Very different from the norm in much of the rest of the world where people just litter cig butts everywhere, toss them into garbage cans and start fires.
Here's Snake using his in MGS 4:
That is actually amazing. This needs to be standard fare everywhere.
Probably easier to get people to stop smoking than stop littering.
Portable sealable ashtray
A analogue film container was my go for this use.
In Death Stranding you can collect Norman Reedus’s bodily fluids and throw them at people.
And that was actually one of the least weird parts of the game.
Jumping and peeing mid air is genuinely a speedrun strat for the release version of the game. It basically lets you fly.
Metal Gear is telling you to wash your dirty arse.
Seems like Metal Gear Solid is the gamer version of Disney's Snow White, because that girl motivated me so much to clean my room when I was a kid. Her and Mary Poppins. And so some extent, Pippi Longstocking too.
Hideo Kojima has a secret message for fans.
You ever skip taking a shower for a day or two just so that the next shower you take feels even better?
No, I do it because I'm living in the hamster wheel of capitalism and I'm very tired
Same, baby
