this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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politics

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They called me and with tears in their eyes said, "Sir, thank you for taking this beautiful call. Sir, you have such a yuge, gargantuan penis so we need to make a deal."

top 26 comments
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[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 60 points 2 days ago (6 children)

We're going to find out he's just been meeting with some random Chinese dude who lives in Ohio.

[–] doctortofu@reddthat.com 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Or a manager of a china (as in porcelain) shop. "Yeah, I'm the president of China... and fine dining utensils incorporated in Chattanooga Tennessee"

[–] JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 21 points 2 days ago

Four Seasons......

....

....

....

Total Landscaping. And then, the country elected him again.

[–] raltoid@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

With the way things are operating, I'm pretty sure you could get into the White House or Mar-a-Lago easily if a few people rolled up in a rented fancy towncar, suits, suitcase and someone to act as a translator.

[–] wildcardology@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I remember mike pillow enthusiastically taking a live call thinking it was the orange garbage only to find out it's a troll.

[–] MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

The illegitimate son of Puyi and rightful Emperor of Ghyna... Or that's just what his business card says.

[–] circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 days ago

They'd just give such a rando some actual position after the fact to save face

[–] Bogus007@lemm.ee 1 points 2 days ago

Perhaps with an Asian femboy 🤨

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 44 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Diplomatic backchannels are an idea that Trump is fundamentally unable to comprehend.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

China: "We haven't met yet"

China: <backchannels talks so they all get on the same page"

Trump: "China lies, we met this morning when they backchanneled their plans to replace the USD with me and I think it's a fine idea."

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago

"Backchannels? Sounds gay. I'll sign an Executive Order banning it."

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Sure donny… are the Chinese diplomats in the room with us right now?

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 days ago

Fucker mistook the Chinese takeout menu for minutes of their last meeting.

Well they're at least listening in on the signal chat.

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So, we know thats not true.

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 days ago

There are at least some 30 million American voters who would believe Trump uncritically.

[–] RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Donnie is full of shit and dementia

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They could totally Chinpokomon Trump.

[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Dibs on Shoe.

[–] vegeta@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

I.e. his covefe boy stopped for lunch at Panda Express

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago

I'm starting to think that Trump is lying.

[–] SpicyLizards@reddthat.com 6 points 2 days ago

Definitely the most sane and stable

[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Like kids at the kindergarten

[–] aramova@infosec.pub 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Ok someone needs to tell the failure-in-chief that getting his breakfast McDonalds brought by the underpaid Asian they brought in from his New Jersey golf course doesn't count as Chinese trade talks.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Had me in the first half, ngl.