this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's the classic I-suffered-so-everyone-else-should-suffer-to-keep-it-fair mentality.

Ignoring the fact that we should work to reduce suffering for future generations.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

And that it's probably a lie, and even if it isn't a lie he's not doing it anymore.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

He is counting all of his two hour lunches, his golfing/tennis/other sport activities that count as 'networking', spending hours harrassing his secretaries, and all of the other non-productive 'work' in his entirely fictitious work schedule.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I am even more disappointed by that guy's choice to work only 6 days a week.

I do not believe in sleep or rest.

I firmly believe that CEOs require diapers, not toilet breaks.

I used to shit myself continuously at the office, the stench was unbearable. And yet I went on, staying at my desk, asking people to come in to berate them.

I chose to be estranged by my whole family. My kids hate me. My wife despises me. My father won't talk to me. Even my mother loathes me.

I managed all that by dedicating every second of my life to my job, so that I can die miserably and get a gravestone saying 'lmao the shitman's dead, rest in shit loser'.

[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Amateur! I haven't stood up in so long my leg muscles have atrophied. Slowly my body has fused with my office chair. I only take 10 min micro naps as my body periodically shuts down, a weakest of my flesh. Never leaving the office, I occupy one entire floor of the building as my productivity lair. This floor has been secretly hidden from everyone else to avoid distractions. I only enter other floors when most employees are gone for the day, usually late at night. I make these excursions to double check my coworkers daily progress or scavenge for food.

Most of my coworkers seem to fear me, perhaps I've become something of myth? They gave me a name, because I heard one scream "the Chairman is real!" as I startled him. He was working late that night as I creeped around his cubicle wall. Since I was famished, I quickly knocked him out with a keyboard and dragged him back to my lair for a quick power lunch.

[–] giacomo@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

if it took him 91 hours a week to do his job, they probably should have let him go.

[–] DarkSpectrum@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Men like this do not understand the magic of the world around them 😔

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Plenty of them are just liars. They'll look you dead in the eye and tell you "When I was your age, I worked 29 hours a day and 10 days per week".

Others simply don't want to acknowledge that the nature of their "work" is play. Flying from party to party with their gaggle of C-level friends, wining and dining clients and patrons, getting a Bill Clinton style office break between angry calls to your junior managers to "work harder!", playing Sim City or Factorio with a billion dollars in state money unconcerned with the end result because you already took out a big chunk as your share, golfing...

None of these assholes are doing manual labor. They're all just schmoozing with one another and collecting a vig on the cash that passes through their hands.

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Not to mention they have people to take care of their cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. Regular people do all that work themselves.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This isn't that difficult if your only job is reading emails and giving one word replies like Yes, No, Proceed, or Delay

Which is all the guys at that level do.

[–] Boozilla@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 months ago

At my job we've learned that anyone above director level simply will not read beyond the first sentence of a fucking email. So we have to write them these orc-like one liner emails and pray they understand whatever it is the fuck they need to understand. They have zero nuance or patience. They just want to grunt and point.