this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 237 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Holy shit if these people get anymore cult like they're going to move to South America and kill themselves.

[–] KingGordon@lemmy.world 128 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Dont threaten me with a good time.

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[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago

Man, we should be so lucky.

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[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 179 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sounds like the kinda guy you want in charge of all of America's sensitive information.

The important thing is that he's not batshit insane.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You can tell because of the way that he is.

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[–] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 163 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 86 points 1 week ago

Even his AI generated kids hate him

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[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 126 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm not going to have a lot of sympathy for anyone who lets that guy put his dick in them.

[–] coyootje@lemmy.world 96 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Well apparently he doesn't do that, news outlets are saying that all of his kids are from ivf.

[–] RedPostItNote@lemmy.world 90 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 77 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Since Leon and Zuck killed factchecking, there is nothing stopping me from believing this.

[–] RedPostItNote@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

If he denies it I think he should just show us dick. SHOW US YOUR FREAK DICK ELON

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[–] Bonus@lemm.ee 30 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Not even if it was with a turkey baster.

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[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 99 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Hi, I’m Leon! But you can call me the neo-nazi kid :D

I’m a proud white guy from South Africa (14 y/o in spirit).

I’m currently trying to fuck up the world and spread my genes hoping to be the new Hitler some day!

Do you want to have my kid? Haha just kidding. Unless…

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[–] blattrules@lemmy.world 98 points 1 week ago (11 children)

So this guy has time to be CEO of twitter, spacex, xai, starlink, tesla, boring company, head of DOGE and still has time to try to hook up with thousands of girls online? Something tells me CEOs are pretty useless if you can be running that many companies each week.

[–] schizo@forum.uncomfortable.business 38 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Yeah it's more hilarious: he's not hooking up with anyone, this is pure turkey baster going on.

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[–] ihatefascist@lemm.ee 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't forget he also doubled down on being in the top10 of PoE2 (which is ruled by nolife players that play 16 hours a day) yet he had the time to do that, I can't understand why anyone would ever trust a word coming out of his mouth ever. Pathological liar with a massive ego, hopefully the target of the next Luigi

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[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 79 points 1 week ago (1 children)

dear saint luigi: please please please end musk. and as many of his acolytes as possible.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago

But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “Those who are without a billion among you, let them be the first to lay the basket and fasten the frame for the blade.”

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 62 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It must be said again.

There are no good billionaires. Every one of them is doing stupid shit like this while people starve to death, in public or in secret.

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[–] HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 59 points 1 week ago (4 children)

This is giving The Office "I want to have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend." energy

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[–] jared@mander.xyz 55 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A legion of children that hate him👍

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He doesn't give a shit, them loving him isn't his goal

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[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Well now I'm starting to think that 4chan account might actually be his, how fun!

A Nazi who thinks he's the Antichrist. What a fuckin world

[–] jabeez@lemmy.today 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Who "Christians" put in power, fucking delicious irony, what a bunch of ignorant, hateful assholes.

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[–] ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works 50 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)
[–] TangledHyphae@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

https://archive.md/DNH8o

I put it on archive.md for anybody that couldn't see past the paywall like myself. (Sorry for the hijack but I wanted to see it quickly.) I'm not sure how everyone else is managing to read it for free tho.

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[–] trashboat@midwest.social 50 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This… might just be the craziest thing I’ve read since the election

Someone should totally try to catfish him, though. Sounds like it wouldn’t be all that challenging

[–] TacticalCheddar@lemm.ee 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

This… might just be the craziest thing I’ve read since the election

We so far have:

  1. Trump turning the White House in a Tesla dealership
  2. Trump putting tarrifs on penguins, but not on Russia
  3. US warplans leaked because someone doesn't know how to use his phone
  4. The US becoming a crypto bro.
  5. The US looking to invade Canada, Mexico, Panama, and Greenland while also looking to extort the rest of the fucking planet.
  6. The US stealing the Gulf of Mexico from Mexico.

Just to name a few. We are only 4 months into his term people. I'd say Elon humping everything that moves is just a regular tuesday.

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[–] KulunkelBoom@lemm.ee 46 points 1 week ago (13 children)

As if his sorry assed genetic material should be passed on. Why do all nazis assume they're the "superior race"?

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago

Because being white is the biggest accomplishment of their life

That's not a compliment

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[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago (41 children)

Declining population, my ass. There were less than 4.5 billion people on the planet when I was born. That fash-hole is only worried that white people will represent a minority of the future population. Nothing more.

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[–] gonzo-rand19@moist.catsweat.com 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Is it weird to anyone else that he just assumes his "legion" of children will follow him unquestioningly?

My dad keeps giving me stock "tips" (my stepsister works at a gold mine and he keeps telling me their stock'll go up any day now despite the mine not being in operation yet 🙄) and I haven't even followed through on that.

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[–] uawarebrah@sh.itjust.works 40 points 1 week ago

What did I just read why does this dude exist

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 1 week ago
[–] Godofdirt@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago

If ever a man needed to be stripped of his power and influence

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They way he treats his kids, he is building a legion to hunt him down

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[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 28 points 1 week ago (7 children)

what's with billionaires and wanting to have so many bloody babies

[–] rocket_dragon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Weird Nazi cult pseudoscience based on the science of natural selection - they actually think they are superior and have superior genes therefore it's in the best of the species that their "superior" genes propagate as widely as possible.

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[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I find it weird that he can be like that and still be alive. Does he bring security to absolutely everywhere he is?

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[–] ellypony@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Nasty ass loser. trifling ass hentai addict type thought process. I've known life-long basement dewllers, they could NEVER be caught acting like this. They're mostly just awkward and sweet with mild social impairment. Then again none of them are billionaires LMAO. It must be the entitlement of people like this.

You know that image of the greasy neckbeard guy with the ugly hat who lives in his mother's basement? The one that floats around in everyone's head at the idea of a 30+ year old man living alone with his mother. That guy will be getting mad pussy. That guy will find genuine companionship with a human. All because they don't see others as receptacles for procreation.

All of the images, and memes, and greentext horror stories; all of the stereotypical caricatures of creeps. None of that could have prepared me for this. None of them fit the boot. I have never had the hairs on my neck stand up like I just did reading about that.

This guy is the King Kong of creeps. The final boss.

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[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I am not surprised. Elon is an accelerationist who believes that the next social turmoil will definitely be coming. But since it is going to happen, he thinks it is better if it comes sooner rather than later.

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[–] airportline@lemm.ee 25 points 1 week ago

He’s such a weird little creep

[–] Jaysyn@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Would be awesome to see all of his businesses fail to the point he can't cover his child support.

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[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 week ago
[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

God and I thought the plot of the Fallout TV show was absurd with the "Bud's Buds" shit but it's literally real

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[–] ericatty@infosec.pub 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How many heirs fighting in courts all over the world does it take to redistribute a multi-billioniare's wealth through court fees, lawyer fees, accountants, penalties, etc until none of them are supreme-wealthy anymore? Just never work again wealthy.

Even if some of them don't really want it, they could still find lawyers to fight on contingency and let them drain the wealth. Then donate whatever they might eventually get, if anything.

For example, Anna Nicole and her late husband's son effectively fed lawyers for years and years. Michael Jackson's estate has been tied up in litigation for decades. And Mike had 3 kids, Anna one surviving kid.

With over a dozen and counting Leon kids, and a ton of potential other types of suits incoming from world-wide plantiffs, it'll be interesting to see how that estate eventually gets drained and dispersed.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 29 points 1 week ago (5 children)

His money is basically incomprehensible to how we regularly think. If he hired a law firm to work on each case 24/7 for the entire year at $5000/hr, and then even if each inheritance case took 20 years and he had 50 children suing him simultaneously it'd cost him billions--but he'd still have hundreds of billions left. Fuck billionaires

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 week ago

My contempt for this man has reached levels previously thought far outside the realm of possibility.

[–] PanArab@lemm.ee 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hopefully they all end up like his daughter.

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