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I don’t think you can tell without looking into their finances. For some, a big house and a couple of new cars signal wealth, but to me, they’re more likely signs of debt and poor financial judgment.
Personally, I live in a small, 75-year-old house, drive a 17-year-old pickup truck, and walk around in old clothes that were never in fashion to begin with. Yet I know for certain that my financial situation is far better than that of the average person in my country. You’d never be able to gauge my true wealth from my appearance or spending habits.
May I ask what you spend your money on that nobody notices?
In my experience the mix out of everything gives me a feeling on how much they have. A big indicator usually are vacations. If you have money to burn to go on a expensive vacation you probably don't have money problems.
Not Op, but I was in a very similar situation (decent pay, old house, old car, not many fancy purchases). While many people here will borrow a lot and pay the minimum on their mortgage, I paid down my mortgage completely. (and otherwise spent money on travel).
Ironically, this is bad financial advice. The last 15-20 years interest have been very low, and house prices have soared. It would make much more financial sense to borrow more and buy a nicer house. But I value the freedom I get from not having a mortgage. And I never borrowed to buy a car, as cars depreciate like rocks