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this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2025
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Same for homophobia. Sadly, some folks don't realize until it happens to themselves or to someone they care about.
Hopefully, these stories will help wake some people up to that reality before that happens.
I am a straight man. I have lived as a straight man all my life. I have only been with women.
Yet, I was somehow bullied for being gay in high school until I just dropped out. I mean, there was more to it than that, but that was the reason I vomited when I seen the school sign.
Straight cis woman here and same (only I didn’t drop out)… everyone thought I was a lesbian and I got bullied for it, there is nothing wrong in being a lesbian but apparently it was supposed to be an insult to me???
Well, I’m 40. At that time we all thought there was something to be ashamed of. As much as it pains me to know I ever felt that way, I lived in constant humiliation like I wasn’t a real man or something.
My step dad (who I love and have a thousand reasons to defend when you look over the course of my life. He seems evil without context) also put me through it. “Daddy’s little girl” “little fag like his father”. Good lord, i type that out and he seems irredeemable, but he did redeem himself, honestly. Somehow he did. It turns out he went through the same thing, was the dumbest man I ever knew, and just wanted me to be as manly as I could be because that’s what it takes to keep from getting your head stomped in the world we come from. Believe it or not, it came from a place of love which somehow makes the trauma worse.
I don’t know. Life is long, and it’s tremendous. I heard that in a song years ago and it stuck out to me. I mean, we know it’s short, but some things make some times so so so long.
Is what it is. I have a drop dead gorgeous 10 out of 10 wife that any straight man would envy me for. I have kids who love me. This world is a beautiful place once you make your way, despite all of the ugly chaos.
My step dad loved me or he wouldn’t have walked to a crappy job every day just to buy my Christmas presents. He was just misguided and abused himself, and he wasn’t smart enough to see that. The way it was, that was just the way it was for him and he wasn’t smart enough to look at it any other way.
Sound like "A boy named Sue"
Kind of I guess. At first your comment made me mad, then I spent a minute thinking about it and that’s pretty much where he stood haha.
When I say he was dumb, my good lord I couldn’t come close to giving an example that would do him justice.
He was an abused kid though, and being tough meant a lot to him because that’s how he survived.
A story for fun.
My mom was very religious. Her greatest dream was to have him see the world the way that she did, and she tried, and she tried. She finally got him to go to church with her. He stopped drinking, he stopped using drugs. We were leaving church one night and going to his parents . Some of his old buddies stopped him in the road, they walked up and the one guy said, “hey Henry, what the fuck is going on, buddy?”
He said, “I’m trying to do right and raise my kids right. I would appreciate it if you didn’t cuss in front of my wife and kids.“
Dude, thought he was joking. He said, “oh bullshit, Henry going to fucking church.”
My stepdad said, “I’m going to give you one more chance before I make you regret cussing in front of my wife and kids.”
Dude said, “I don’t fucking believe this, Henry the Christian.”
My dad got out of the car and knocked every one of his front teeth out. People were fucking terrified of him. The lady across the street called the cops. The cop showed up, “Henry, we hear there’s some fighting going on down here.” My dad said, “ain’t nobody fighting here, so you can just go on up the road.”
The cop replied, “well then what happened to him?”
My dad said, “He fell.”
The dude looked at the police officer and said, “he’s right, I fell off the bridge.”
The cops pulled out and left while this dude stood here, holding his teeth and crying like a toddler.
Now in my dad’s mind, (step dad, but raised me), He was teaching us this big lesson in that moment.
Poor guy was so stupid that he didn’t realize that violence was not a lesson you teach children. I was terrified, but my brother thought he was the coolest motherfucker who ever lived in that moment. Needless to say, we took drastically different routes for a very long time in our lives.
As a father, at least half the lessons my son has learned weren't ones i'd intended. But he's a good kid, so something worked out.
I had a similar experience as yours. . .
May the bastards that wronged us stub their toes weekly, may both sides of their pillow be warm, may their tires find every sharp object on the road.
May their socks always be damp. May their steering wheel always be vaguely sticky. May they never find parking.