I wish to God squatters would quietly drill out the locks on an old abandoned property, occupy it and slowly fix it up and just go over to whatever agency 5 years later with the documentation to show it and say "by right of labor and occupancy this house is mine."

I just doesn't seem to be how it works in places with tolerant squatting laws. The way it seems to go is some enterprising criminals will run off some fake leases, gain entry to a home that's only temporarily unoccupied, and then when the owners come back they ask them for money to leave. And then the owners give them money, and the squatters either leave or they don't.