this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2025
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[–] PrivateNoob@sopuli.xyz 102 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (4 children)

38*365=13870

856346/13870=61.74

This guy masturbated 62 times per day if we assume that he is capable to jerk when a toddler. If we assume he starts jorking it from 12, then this rate goes to 90.23 faps per day

He is the king of gooners

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 41 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

And he still managed to sleep over 9 hours per day and walk over 14.7km (9.15mi) per day on average

[–] VonReposti@feddit.dk 28 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

He mastered the art of sleep'batin' and walk'batin', making him able to achieve such high numbers.

Some say he could never get off unless sleeping or walking.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 7 points 13 hours ago

Truly a sleepwalk'bater

[–] Limitless_screaming@kbin.earth 8 points 15 hours ago

He basically sleep walked while masturbating. Never heard of multitasking?

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 7 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Maybe Deaths definition of a fap is 100 strokes. You know, as a way to differentiate between a 10 hour gooning session, and a 5 minute sleep-fap.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 16 hours ago

Rookie numbers.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago

At some point there ceases to be skin on the hog and you’re just rubbing blood.

Truly the most committed of our time.