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Countless stories like this are why I tell every partner that I absolutely will not get legally married, nor have children. Best of luck to you.
Watch out for common-law marriage statutes. A friend of mine got bitten by those - even worse actually because there was no prenup - it just “happened” because of how long they were together.
I know a couple like this. They've been living together for nearly twenty years, but the husband insists his wife pay him rent to live together. She makes more than him, so he nickle and dime's her constantly, insisting she pay for vacations, for eating out, whatever.
It's really worn her down, but she's terrified of being alone in her forties, so she just puts up with it. Really bleak.
I don't envy anyone in this kind of long term relationship.
I mean your ex wife did a bunch of shit to get hot to land a guy and you did a bunch of shit to get a good job so you could land a hot wife. Hot girls who get divorced don't have access to money the same way that you do and since kids are involved the court seeks equity.
It's not the "weakness" of women it's just that home making isn't financially rewarded. If she had pursued a career and not having children then she could have the same access to money that you have because you don't have to physically carry the child. And being a homemaker isn't a choice you made for yourself, and let's be honest isn't really possible except for very few men. I'm sure it sucks from your point of view. But she spent her beauty and youth capital on you and won't be able to find a guy as good as you now that she's older and has kids.
Also you're probably taking care of yourself so you can wholly start over with a hot young wife and you will continue to make more money in your career. But your ex wife is just gonna keep on doing the best she can. It hurts now but it will hurt less as time goes on so try not to begrudge her too much.