this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2025
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ADHD
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it takes some time to learn how and when to safeword. from experience i know that the most common thing stopping someone, both doms and subs, from using them is guilt - they don't want to stop the play when they see the other person is having fun, perhaps it's that?
if i were you i'd try to have that conversation again, try to stress the importance of clear and undeniable consent. how if they want to be treated roughly you need to feel safe doing it, and knowing that they will communicate when they get uncomfortable gives you that safety. but of course, i don't know the whole context of your relationship so i don't know if this would work, all i can do is wish you the best with that!