this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
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Why do people do stuff like this, is the logic not difficult enough to follow on it's own without a secondary definition table to consult!? Fucking hell.
Had a programmer like this when I was still an apprentice. He was so full of himself. Was originally a Java programmer but had to program in PHP because that was what ran on the server. I never found out why he couldn't just put Java on the server. We had full control.
All his variables were first names. Like
$klausand$grobi. Because he was afraid of clashing with reserved keywords. The thing is, in PHP all variables begin with$exactly to prevent this issue. So he brought that habit over from Java which was far superior and not such a "Mickey Mouse language".I mean, he wasn't totally wrong, especially back then PHP was awful. But he surrounded every function with
<?phpand?>(PHP was designed to be combined with HTML output outside of these tags) and had plenty of whitespace between them and couldn't fathom why all his html files had huge swaths of whitespace at the start.His way of preventing SQL injection was to look for SQL keywords in user input and then throwing an error in the log files.