this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2025
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Mildly Infuriating
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Yeah, men should go to the back of that bus right?
Oh, poor poor oppressed men that aren't allowed anywhere on the internet!
The problem is not being allowed somewhere. Women are allowed pretty much everywhere, too.
What is inadequate is building what are essentially hate groups and not letting the opposite side defend themselves.
This turns to unnecessary and brutal radicalization that is antithetic to a productive change.
Sure, women are allowed pretty much everywhere, but it still doesn't mean that we are safe from harassment or that the spaces aren't extremely male-dominated. And if an oppressed group wanting their own space and complaining about their oppression is a hate group to you, look inwards.
I see where this is coming from, and from that angle, it might seem (and sometimes be) noble.
The problem arises when the oppressed group starts falsely lumping everyone outside the group into oppressors, which so often happens around gendered issues, among others. So many times I've seen women in such spaces lashing out at men at large and then bringing this mentality to the world outside the group.
"Men can't be discriminated against - they are oppressors" "Men are abusive by nature" "Men are unsafe to be around" "Men are the problem" "It is always men" "Sure, a man might just be a chill person, but he always carries privilege and is thereby part of the problem" "Men go through different socialization that breaks them and makes them abusive"
These are just few of the arguments I've seen in the wild, on several occasions.
To be clear: it's not by any means exclusive to women. There are plenty of examples of men grouping together on much the same grounds, spreading similar false narratives about women. And this is something that shouldn't happen, ever, under any premise. It erodes our ability to build bridges, to communicate, to find actual solutions - and to support each other, whatever the gender distribution of any given place is. And currently, Lemmy is certainly not the worst on the scale, even though it could fare better.