Mildly Infuriating

Online communities don't have to have the same demographics as physical locations. Why does it seem weird to you that either gender would want to vent about the opposite one without reading 100 replies by the group being vented about.

On lemmy as well as reddit it is by far majority men, idk why you'd think I was talking about irl. A lot of people talk way more online than irl.

I do agree having just a men's space is important, I think the reason for things like boy scouts being mixed is so you can have people of both genders interacting while building and doing things together, which is really important learning and doesn't happen much in schools. Is this more or less important than having a purely boys space, i really don't know. That said I'm not opposed to pure male spaces once people aren't in school anymore, and it likely is important, but I can maybe try to explain the double standard.

I think we would both agree men are generally more aggressive and competitive, due to higher testosterone. That means they will generally take up more of the space and conversation, and be more boisterous. This means a few men in a woman's space will impact it much more than a few women in a men's space. Women being generally less aggressive stern competitive etc their voices are often just lost or very quiet in normal life. People want to talk to others with similar experiences and commiserate, and that's hard to do for women if they're not hearing other women. I think irl even if you didn't identify as a woman but had very similar experiences to women, most good groups would say ya you're also welcome. It's sort of just a bad categorization for shared experiences, but the best one we have for now.

Idk I don't look at people venting against any demographic and think I need to speak up (as long as it's not just hateful or wrong). It's like if I said "I have to lock my car in majority black neighborhoods," most non radical leftists would say "ya true but they're not more dangerous because they're black its because they're poor" to which I would say "ya. I still have to lock my car here though." Same thing in that thread, men wouldn't do that if they had more support from men AND women, but the statement was totally fair and not really that negative, it felt more like "it's sad this is the way things are right now." Though, testosterone DOES sorta push men to think being nice = in love, so it's not a totally fair comparison.

The reason it's public is to make it as easy as possible for women to stumble into it and post and comment, and hoping everyone else will be understanding. Making it private or sign-up only or whatever basically loses the whole point of being able to hear other women.