this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Microsoft is truly the king of putting out a product that no one wanted or asked for, then wondering why no one wants it. I'm sure they will soon begin the second phase of any Microsoft product: spending a small country's GDP marketing it to try to get people to use it, despite it being prominently displayed on approximately 5 billion operating systems already.
A tried and true strategy to piss through more money than god to justify spending more money than god building the thing that no one wants. Looking at you, IE and edge.
Don't forget cortana!
What about that 365 bullshit?
362
Forget what?
I think it's an old UK only model of ford that they stopped making in 1982
No that was the Cortina. Cortana is a coastal city in Colombia.
No that’s a type of blind. Cortana is a fictional character from the Halo video game franchise.
Actually, it's an extinct genus of land snail. Really. Wikipedia told me so.
No, that's Cartagena, Cortana is a region of Spain
How could I when I've been being notified it's existence for the better part of the last decade?
Cortana was great on WP before they dumbed it down for W10 and then killed it. It gave you daily summaries in the morning and was able to do basic assistant stuff like reminders and simple queries pretty well. Then W10 came and it became just a shitty web search.
I hate tech companies and the general public's collective amnesia of functioning digital assistants, so I'm co-opting this as a copypasta.
Google Assistant was great on Android before they dumbed it down for Gemini and then killed it. It gave you daily summaries in the morning and was able to do basic assistant stuff like reminders and simple queries pretty well. Then Gemini came and it became just a shitty web search.
Cortana got rampancy IRL.
Cortana has gone rampant and is running the company now.