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Meeting in the middle means shifting the goal posts until we're all knee deep in right wing bullshit
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this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2025
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Some people just like clear communication and don't find that idea stupid, weird, evil, or controlling. I actually would say that opposing clear communication so hard comes from a need to manipulate people and conversations to be whatever you want them to be. I get that words are slippery, they definitely are, but you shouldn't misuse them and then run scared if someone calls you on it.
Okay, but the context of this meme is people making arguments that "children" shouldn't be protected from pedophiles because they are potentially biologically "capable" of bearing young.
Every adult person on some basic level does know the difference between biological capability, age and status as an adult.
To obfuscate that in a search for "clarity" only allows wrongdoers to work their way out of bad situations.
Of course there may be some fringe circumstance that is so fucked, confusing and bizarre that it may in fact need some kind of understanding deeper than a basic moral or legal understanding. However rich, powerful, informed, adults intentionally engaging with minors in sexual, intimate and private ways is not one of them.
I understand you yourself are not attempting to protect pedophiles, but please understand that you need to specifically make that clear before you make such a comment or argument. That discourse is valid, but needs to be properly contextualized.
The user I responded to changed the subject in my mind. Neither of us referenced the original post other than we talked about definitions. The original post is so obviously a bad faith argument coming from the Nazi that it would've never occurred to me anyone needs to point it out. This isn't Twitter where 70% of users are nazis.
It's still possible to communicate clearly and not get dragged down with getting lost in the excess of words from so many niche or specific topics of human interests.
Personally I choose to speak using words that are more common, simpler and broader. The purpose of that for me is to be understood by as many people as possible. To be understood by people of many ages or English skill level. This generally involves me using more words to describe what it is that I want to say or express without the need to condense meaning into words I have trouble defining because it's outside of my personal interests.
Since I want to be understood by so many people, it means that many more people can hold me up to my word. That I can be called out by anyone, young or old, English as a first language or not and so on.
When I'm around people who talk like a dictionary, using all these words that seem definable but leaves me confused and trying to fill in the blanks in a conversation, I'm left with questions. Can they define all those words? But more importantly, who are they trying to talk to? Me? Or their preferred group of like-minded people?
There was a time before written language where language was continued through culture, tradition, story and possibly many other ways. This current experience isn't the one and only way to experience life.
The ones who spend a large amount of personal energy fighting to define words will have spent a large amount of their limited time alive fighting to define words. They could have tried building community, or creating art or maybe just existing in the moment and being happy with the beauty that surrounds them. And then they, just like us, will all die. Life will continue on and the definition of words will continue to flow, change, evolve or die like so much of human culture and activity.
You're only thinking of the manipulators and those who ~~relish~~ enjoy control over others.
You imply that the time could have been better spent in service of art or the community.
I ask you then, have you thought of the clerks? The assistants? Art? What of the writers?
Language can be used to control or manipulate yes. But before those purposes came, came the need for it to first exist, as a tool to forge connection.
To describe the sunset, give voice to the grief, and exclaim the joyous cry.
I'd need an example to get what you mean. Because part of me thinks you're describing something I relate to, another part of me thinks you are talking about doing that incredibly annoying thing where you consistently use a word incorrectly and when it's pointed out you seemed to be saying something very different from what you meant, you blame the other party and get annoyed. I know people who do this, and it's quite annoying because I'm actually spending effort trying to translate instead of instantly understanding, had they spoken with more consideration for their audience.
I think my personal usage of the word 'queer' might be a good example to help describe what I mean.
I personally have a strong dislike for labels. Often people label me as a quick way to describe a list of traits they think I am. Often I do not neatly fit that list of traits which ends up with the other person upset that I am not neatly categorized and predictable.
However, as much as I hate labels, I still need to find community in this modern world. Talking with my therapist, we both agreed that 'queer' is probably the best compromise. It's nothing too specific and it's broad enough to be overall inclusive. I did not want to meet a specific group. Not gay, not bi, not poly, not trans, or any specific group. I wanted to meet all of these people in a general, inclusive space. In my area, the word queer happens to attract that diverse crowd I want to surrounded by.
I've been around by the type of people misinterpret my words my whole life. That's why I choose to speak and type in the way that I do. I'm attempting to remove ambiguity. By removing thier tool of defining words as a weapon, it reveals that they can't really defend themselves or their awful hidden views.
Why do you assume that most people are using words as weapons? I was honestly relating to what you wrote until the last paragraph. Especially about "awful hidden views". In my experience the worst possible way to communicate is to take a tiny statement that does indicate anything bad in particular and assume it actually does. This is why all the infighting on the left happens imo. "They only said/think that because [leap to horrible thing that no one said]"
I'm curious though, who is questioning your use of queer? That sounds exactly like the modern definition of the word to me. Not sure I've noticed anyone disputing that.
Am I assuming most people are using words as a weapon?
Did I say people were questioning my use of the word queer?
I'm discussing a common manipulation tactic that's often performed which is happening in this meme. Something often used to derail an argument by forcing people to waste time talking about the definition of words rather than continuing a conversation about concepts as a whole.
Manipulator's to me are like magicians, they hate when people talk about the tools of their trade. And I love talking about the tools of a manipulators trade. This just so happened to be a meme about a manipulators tool.
I asked for an example of people getting annoyed about you using a word wrong and that's what you gave. This conversation has been confusing, but I don't think we actually disagree after all.