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Truck carrying aggressive monkeys infected with hepatitis, herpes, and COVID crashes in Mississippi
(www.fox13memphis.com)
this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
139 points (95.4% liked)
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"Jenkins, I just scored like 100 monkeys from my monkey guy"
"Billy Bananas?"
"No, the other one"
"Primate Paul?"
"Yeah. Anyway, I've got these monkeys, and I don't know if you're following here, but what if the monkeys had a bunch of diseases"
"Okay.... which diseases exactly?"
"Yes"
"....."
"Anyway, I need you to head up the project. Let me know when they're infected and we'll ship them off to Arkansas or something, I don't know"
"Why do I keep working here?"
"I don't know, Jenkins. I don't know. If you need me I'll be playing golf"
"So where exactly are we shipping them in Arkansas?"
"Jenkins, don't bother me with the details. I'm a big picture guy. Arkansas is just an idea. I'm spitballing. Take care of the details. Do this right and there could be a big promotion in it for you. We're making progress here Jenkins, big progress. We're going to change the world."
"How.....?"
"Ha ha good one, Jenkins. Well, I'm off. Get it done. Before I forget. One last thing: make sure they're really pissed off. Poke them every time they try to sleep, throw things at them taunt them, whatever, you know, standard stuff that pisses off monkeys"