this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
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I know it's The Onion, but I find it funny (not "haha" funny) that conservatives will preach all day about how everyone is soft these days yet will immediately cower in fear as soon as they see transgender people, black people, women in power, women with dyed hair, gay people getting married, Muslims, immigrants speaking Spanish, wind turbines, vaccines, books, pornography, video games, poor people (even when they themselves are poor), homeless people, electric cars, "wokeness" (whatever the fuck that means), DEI, Democrats, free healthcare, protestors, and on and on and on. Like, how do you function in society when you are scared of literally everything?
But I guess that's kinda the point of this Onion article.
My conservative mother-in-law was concerned about homeless migrants stealing things from their home. They live in a gated community with 24-hour security at the gate. I mean come on. It’s not an exaggeration to say that they fear everything. It’s absurd.
I have some conservative in-laws that live in Northern Minnesota. When we drove up to visit, they were like "You stopped in MINNEAPOLIS on your way up here?!? How did you survive all the crime??"
Like seriously, Fox News has convinced these people that the world outside their immediate bubbles is an absolute hellhole overrun with immigrants, homeless people, and gang members.
Warning: graphic footage of REAL gang warfare on Minneapolis streets
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There are fucktards in the metro suburbs that think if they cross 494 or 694 that they are getting shot.