this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 129 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

Donald Trump: Spends every waking minute of his life being a huge piece of shit to basically everyone he crosses paths with

MAGA: Surprised Pikachu Face "I'm starting to think there's a small chance that Donald Trump might actually not care about me. No that can't be it. He's totally going to follow through on his promise to deliver unicorns and fairy dust any minute now."

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago

He never promised that, though. He promised to rid the land of gnomes, an under appreciated linchpin species. He also promised to reveal who has been pissing in the town well. By doing that, the unicorns and fairy dust would return naturally.

What he didn't mention was that aggressive deforestation had killed all the unicorns and fairies. And even if they did come back, they'd be shot on sight because an endangered species would halt the deforestation and that's currently profitable. Once the wildfires take out the rest of the enchanted forest, the townspeople will likely die in agony with their dignity stripped away, but that'll be profitable, too, if they can convince enough people that their support will put them on the survivor's side!

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago

"But he told me I'm special. 🥺"

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It wasn't even a campaign of caring about others. Like the first stupid 4 years, it was about hurting the "right" people. And they don't see themselves as the ones who could be hurt, until it's too late.

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

if you understand the world to be necessarily a zero sum game, you think the only way to win is eliminate everyone else at the table. these deluded fools are so certain it's a zero sum game they can't fathom that this isn't our goal, too. meanwhile, the left's proposed solution is to step away from the table. to stop playing. to distribute all the chips in the pot to everyone

[–] jaemo@sh.itjust.works 7 points 23 hours ago

It's basically Sauron's perspective from LOTR. "Of course they'll use the ring. Duh. Who wouldn't"

[–] kudra@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Underrated comment.

[–] nthavoc@lemmy.today 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"The radical liberals are making him act like that" is the new maga mental gymnastics back flip right into denial river. This orange moron is their infallible god.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago

I wish these people were smart enough to understand how stupid the phrase 'radical liberal' is

[–] Booboofinget@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago

To think that a perv who openly expresses hos sexual desires for his own daughter is going to care about other people's children is mind-boggling.