cdf12345

joined 2 years ago
[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago

I hope he can see this, because I am doing it as hard as I can.

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 6 points 1 month ago

The Joke: The Musical

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 53 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Why is the ground so slippery lately?

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago
[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

But that’s all of the heights ?

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago

The trade off was no tax on churches for no tax on higher education. Trump is going after colleges so it’s time to go after churches

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Ahh yes the Alex Jones Strategy:

Claim something is happening or about to happen then

It happens: you were right all along and take credit for it

It doesn’t happen: my mentioning it scared the bad guys away and they wouldn’t even attempt it

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

It’s a bear and it’s teacup elephant pet

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 64 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I sit down next to a guy on the train.

ME: Loads of cycle paths around here.

HIM: Really?

ME: Loads, mate.

HIM: How'd you know?

ME: There’s signs, aren’t there?

HIM: I guess?

ME: I love them.

(47 minutes of awkward silence.)

When we reach my stop, I get off the train with my bike. As I leave, I notice the guy suddenly looks relieved. As I walk away he looks at me like I was a random crazy psychopath on the train, then it finally hit me.

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Tell your mom to stop faking jellyfish stings, I’m not going to pee on her

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