SARGE

And I’ve heard all the platitudes.

I like to make people uncomfortable when they start going on about how my wife and I should have kids. She had a TL and I had a vasectomy. I usually start off with "kids are off the table for us."

We SHOULDN'T have kids because genetics on both our families are shit.

We WON'T have kids because they're awful to deal with 90% of the time, and neither of us feel that the world will be a livable place in their lifetime so it would be cruel to have children anyway.

We CAN'T have kids because the medical procedures.

If someone gets pushy about it, I act emotional, burst out that after so many miscarriages we have given up on children and the person should learn to take a hint.

So far nobody has had anything else to say after that.

Non-uniformed chucklefucks claiming to be law enforcement while acting like gang members and thugs, getting ready to break into a house?

Sounds like a good time for armed resistance to arrest the clearly illegal kidnapping or robbery. If they are armed and make any move toward weapons, there is only one response. Defend your life, and defend the victims, with all the force necessary to do so.

I actually think ICE WANTS this to happen so they can justify being even harsher or just straight up executing people in the street. It's not like law enforcement hasn't executed someone in front of dozens of witnesses while being recorded...

11 minutes vs 3 is a long time.

A 7 million fine for stealing 1 billion in profits.

Just another day in late stage capitalism.

Of course someone usually has to go to jail for something so public, so Steve from accounting is getting his "jailbird bonus" and will be admitting to fraud, and spend 4 months in a ~~hotel~~ cushioned cell. He also gets weekends off.

In my experience, it's either total incompetence of the people in charge, or it's malicious in order to "catch" people doing something bad.

Like a bait car, but way more malicious since the person getting in the metaphorical car doesn't even know it's not their car because the keys worked, and nobody bothers stopping them for a few days so they get extra criminal charges.

birth bath

Uhhhhhh you should probably at least drain out the placenta fluid...

In-laws children have a severely limited reading ability. 12 and 13 year Olds can barely read some 4-letter words.

Their math skills are worse, sitting around 2nd grade level.

The youngest are still in the "learn to socialize with other children" phase of education, but all 8 of their kids need severe assistance in their education.

But when one of the answers to their homework is "why is math perfect? because God is perfect and God made math" then it's no surprise.

I'm a simple man.

I see GROND

I upvote/compliment.

GROND

My first thought was ".... Again? They need some better contraceptives" but no, it's the same one... A shame, that would open the door for so many jokes.

This could honestly go on nottheonion

I could see it happening.