(Camp Pendleton, CA) As war tensions mount, disturbing pictures have been released of US Marines, sitting around tables and coloring in a map of South America. Pencils on the desks suggest the soldiers may be writing in the names of the countries, as well.
“This is very alarming,” said a Venezuelan diplomat who asked not to be named due to fear of reprisals. “This type of training goes far beyond the US preparations for the occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan. This suggests a long term plan for occupation, possibly for decades.”
A spokesman for the Marines said it is normal training to teach soldiers about areas in the US sphere of influence, and noted that the soldiers love the crayons. The White House also deflected the issue of the training, saying in a press release on the subject, “you’re just mad your mom never bought you crayons.”
War scholars agree this is not typical Marine doctrine, and feel Venezuela should be worried. Leo Sturbgetter, a double PhD scholar in Military Doctrine and Bovine Dispersion, said: “I would be very alarmed if I were in the leadership in Venezuela. Assuming these troops learn every country and capital in South America, they are less than 2 years from deploying to the region.”