One
Rich
Asshole
Called
Larry
Ellison
this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
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Technology
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Ding ding!
Oracle makes the worst database system ever imagined by anyone ever. Can't even insert multiple rows in the same statement, you have to put multiple insert statements and Oracle sues you for dreaming about any other database.
Techs like to deride sales and managers for incompetence. But Oracle is proof that salesmanship and suits can take garbage and make billions.
I remember around 1990 when Oracle handled their tech problems by making it illegal to review their product. ( You had to purchase their product to use it or be sued. And the purchase agreement required that you not publish a review of the product without their approval or be sued.)
100%.
Reminds me of this.
That’s a great “it could be worse” read for any engineer who hates their job.
I would argue that selling a product that engineers need to create and maintain at great cost to the company (both monetary and in terms of frustration etc) and customer relations is in fact incompetence.
or at least that's how I see if from my own dealings with the sales guy at work. "okay yes I see you have an idea, but can we nail down a product definition, describe where we add value, and identify how it is different than these two other globally established products on the market right now?" nope, all he could do was be a little bitch about it. apparently he had customers lined up, though.
and Oracle sues you for dreaming about any other database.
What's this?
Oracle sues for everything, when they sue you, they can ask for their payment to be related to the total employees of the company, to take that as users of the Oracle Database (trademark)(copyright)(shat my pants) or Java (do I need to repeat?). Yeah, they sue for EVERYTHING.
Can I get an article/source about this? I'm in the mood to be mad about Oracle
I can chime in here with “my former employer hired a full-time lawyer after being sued by Oracle over something trivial”. Company of less than 200. They settled and they still have at least one permanent legal staffer.
The video glances at this, but this happened where I work, so I can't give the direct sources for the case against the place I work, but if even the Oracle employees talk about the draconic bullshit Oracle does, imagine what happens to the companies/governments they sue.
Oracle licenses software by CPU (or at least they did). But not in the way you think, they mean by discrete logical CPUs. So if you virtualize one of their apps and give the VM 4 CPUs, do you need four licenses? No, since it could run on any of the CPUs in the host, you need to buy however many that is.
I went to look for more info on this and couldn't find anything reliable, but I did find an article from Amazon saying that if you run something like this in AWS, you need enough licenses to cover the entire goddamn AWS zone.
Everything that Oracle makes really feels like they got the idea from a random engineer they stuck up on their lunch break.
Yeah, pretty sure you can do multi row insert though
This is one of the issues with the tech side of their business. They've been around a long time, and certain features that other databases had in the 90s were just put into Oracle a few years back. Devs don't always have a good handle on the new capabilities, especially when the old code without the feature is done and working.
I cannot imagine any business leader crunching the numbers and concluding it's better to stay with Oracle. I would order an all-hands-on-deck effort to rejigger the company database needs to get out from under these parasites.
Only explanation I got it that they are unwilling to stall current projects and/or hire more backend devs while sorting it out. And yes, I am well aware it's a monstrous task, even for a small company.
It's cheaper in the long run, which is probably about 5 years, maybe less. Those fees are astronomical.
In fact, I'd be willing to donate some time to help a small business transition to Postgres.
A friend of mine was working on decommissioning Oracle at his company for the past year or two. The company bought some software that was using Oracle years ago. Turns out it was relying heavily on DB procedures and to ditch Oracle they had to move all this logic out of it first. They tried to do it couple of times before but failed. The software works so this work had low priority and would be scraped eventually to focus on more important things. On like a 3rd try they finally managed to do it and are now Oracle free.
Sadly I'm in this boat. We use Oracle database and have stored procedures all over the place. For us, the cost to convert everything would probably be huge.
I'd love to switch to PostgreSQL.
SAP does this too. I watched as a ‘license enforcement’ mob conjured up an ‘ indirect user ‘ concept to charge a top 10 ( in our country) client $10million for misusing SAP software for payroll and finance. The group was called Global Customer Assistance or some similar euphemism. It was all bogus. The client immediately started a program to rip out all SAP software. To my knowledge this is now complete. This customer abuse program was started when a number of senior execs moved from Oracle to SAP in the US.
Much like Vampires, no sane person should ever invite Oracle into their home: Both are bloodsucking parasitical leeches, and you'll never be rid of the affliction.
If I have to chose, I'd prefer the Vampire.
Vampires are at least hot
They are very literally cold.
Good Work
Not really
It's the name of the channel, not a description of what Oracle does (hence the pipe between them). I edited the title to add a bit more context and make it more clear that they do not, in fact, do good work.
The juxtaposition was just too good to not make the comment.
Fair enough :p
It's like the song Well Done by IDLES, more sarcasm than anything
Big businesses are all in cahoots with each other.
Everything is so expensive so they can spend that money on each other.
Oracle is a CIA asset.
Larry Ellison, the largest private funder of the Israel Defense Forces, is deeply tied to the Israeli national security state and counts Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu among his closest friends.
https://just-international.org/articles/israels-biggest-us-donor-now-owns-cbs/
That reporter is distractingly handsome