Grew up Mennonite. This reminds me of a bad joke, usually said tongue in cheek.
"Why did the Mennonite woman cross the road?"
"I dunno. Why did she leave the kitchen?"
Sometimes sarcasm belies a kernel of actual belief. Many Mennonites wouldn't consider the joke ironic.
This Onion article is funny, but it's also not funny because so many people are accurately represented by it, and this is sad.